Childrens Museum

Faustina is 18 months now and it is fun to start exploring all that the Twin Cities offers for little kids. We went to the Children's Museum for the first time this afternoon with our friends the Gipsons. She has been loving books lately, as you can see in the picture; she doesn't seem to mind that it is upside down ;) Faustina seemed to enjoy all the activities and I am sure we'll be back.

All smiles

Really, I cannot get enough of this little guy.

My snuggler

Today Jude is 3 months old and one of my favorite things about a newborn/baby is falling asleep nursing him and then waking up in the morning looking down at this furry little head nestled against me. He is a very good baby and he likes to snuggle with me as much as I do with him! I enjoy this stage....it doesn't last too long....It was only about a year ago Faustina was at this point, and now, of course, she is at the stage where she won't sit still. They really do grow up too fast. Sigh.

Two months

I took this photo from my Dad's blog. I love it. Dad said she was a senior in highschool and she is so pretty! He has been posting all kinds of pictures from when my Mom was younger and I am so proud of her.

Mom died 2 months ago today and although I know it is real....it still really does not seem like it. I miss her more and new things keep coming up that make me miss her more. I find that when I am occupied and busy I feel like I am fine and I can rationalize Mom being gone a bit. When I have more 'thinking' time, especially when I am driving in the car, I often find fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. Things come up that I want to talk to her about. I don't really wonder how she would respond to different situations, people, or events - because I think I know how she would. But I want her to be there and interact with her. I want to experience her and I want my kids to know her. I find that when I am sitting talking to my Dad at his house, my mind tells me how she would respond to the conversation; I hear her voice, I see her facial expressions, I look over to see her sitting on the couch. She might as well be in the other room. It is all so familiar.

I find myself very aware of friends or other people talking about their Mothers. And it just does not seem fair for women so much older than me to still have that privilege. Of course, I know that is wrong thinking, but it makes me think of all the things I will miss experiencing with her and makes me sad.

I have only gone to Resurrection Cemetery once: on All Soul's Day. It was a blustery day. Travis had a put a pumpkin and some kale from the garden there. Dad had left Halloween candy. I had Faustina and Jude there and it was fairly surreal. I felt like I could picture Mom looking down on us all from a bird's eye view. Faustina took the candy Dad had put there and starting running away. I started laughing because I immediately thought of how Mom would have reacted. I know she would have laughed and not minded Faustina stealing her candy. I don't think of Mom residing there at the cemetery, it is hard to explain, but I think of her everywhere now.

It just is hard. There is no way around it. I went to mass on November 2nd, All Souls Day. The priest said something to the effect that everyday should be All Soul's Day because it reminds us of heaven. And, really, heaven is our goal. We're running the race here on earth, and heaven is the prize. And I DO think about heaven a lot now! I guess that is a good thing. Especially since I moved back from Seattle years ago, Mom and I were always in such close communication that I would often think to myself, "Where is Mom now? Is she at women's group? Is she at home? Is she out with Dad?" I actually usually knew where she was. And now I think the same thing. Where is she? I know she is somewhere - and I know (as much as we can know anything about the afterlife) she is in a better place than we are...but what is that like?? These are questions that can't be answered anytime soon. All I can do is pray that the Lord continues to give strength.

Lord of the rosary

With all that has been going on the past 6 months, I have slowly been making my way through Tolkien's trilogy. In the spring I sped through rereading "The Hobbit", but then with Mom being sick, summer, new job, baby etc...I didn't have much time for any reading.

I am nearing the end of the first book and I am completely taken with the story. I look forward to now watching the movies again. All I want to do is sick down and get through them, but something seems to always be interrupting me.

Reading "The Lord of the Rings" series has not only captured my imagination, but my dreams as well! Last night my dreams put a new spin on Frodo's adventures. My name in the dream last night was Miss Frodo (sorry dear husband!) but I was not a hobbit. I was human still. And I was on an adventure that was not protecting a ring, but a sacred rosary! We had to get this rosary back to the Vatican where it belonged. I couldn't put it around my neck because it was too powerful, so I had to be very careful how I carried it so that I would not lose it. Then all these old acquaintances and friends entered the dream (people I haven't thought about or talked to in a long time) and some were on the 'dark' side and some were on the 'good' side (I won't mention names ;). But we traveled through a dark forest where the trees could get up and walk with their roots as legs and we were heading for huge mountains which were the Grand Tetons (even though that is nowhere near Italy) in my dream. It was so strange and so real that it is still very vivid in my memory. I kept wondering where Merry, Pippin and Sam were because I wanted to meet them. And some of my friends had hobbit bodies or elf bodies! Wow, it was very bizarre.

But as I read "The Lord of the Rings" I truly am stunned at how Tolkien created this whole new world. It is incredibly engaging and even addicting to read. Tolkien was so creative, I just wonder, how did he come up with these detailed scenes and story lines!? What a fun read, it will be fun to do it again when the kids get older.

Faustina's new stage

What is Faustina up to these days? The better question is: What isn't Faustina up to these days. She is learning something new every hour. She loves books, she loves imitating Mom and Dad in any task at hand, she is playing with toys in a very purposeful manner by herself and she is playing with other kids, she is saying more and communicating more maturely. She likes to sing in the car and she plays by herself in her crib with no toys except her teddy to tackle and talk to. She is our little girl now! Her personality continues to emerge and we get to know her better each day. She is very entertaining, and she certainly is a smart little one. We like her and are so glad she is our oldest child who I am confident will help shepard her siblings into their childhood and adolescence!

Deo Gratias

This morning Mike, Jude, Grandpa Lee and I were up long before the break of dawn, at about 4:30am! This morning Jude had his surgery which meant we had to leave the house at 5:30am to be at the hospital by 6am.

Everything went very very well. Jude was as good as gold the whole time. I was a bit nervous because he had to go from 1:30am-8:30am without any food. But, thank goodness, he was peaceful the whole morning and even smiling! Jude and I were home around 11am and he has been sleeping for most the morning. We will have an ultrasound in a month to see how his kidneys are functioning. We continue to pray that we do not have to have the more major surgery to remove the upper left part of his kidney; we are hoping that his system corrects itself as he grows and matures.

While Mike and I took care of Jude at the hospital we ran into other parents with their children who were having surgery. One little boy was about 6 years old in his pajamas. He had a brain tumor and was having a long surgery today which was quite serious. Another little girl who was a few months old had an extra finger they were removing. Seeing these sweet kids made me take a step back and thank the Lord for all the good health in our family.

Yesterday the daily gospel reading was from Luke 17:11-19 about how Jesus healed 10 lepers and only 1 of those men came back to thank him. Reflecting on that passage, it truly is wonderful to behold how good God is to us! Really, there is never any reason for me to be crabby or ungrateful because I am so incredibly blessed with family, friends, gifts, talents, financial stability, the list goes on....forever, basically. Even when life is hard, even in losing my Mom - God always provides strength and whatever it is that I need. And for that I need to be constantly thanking God and living life with a cheerful and joyful heart. I thank you God, especially today, for our good health and blessing Jude on this day of his surgery.

Grandma Mary was in the house

We were fortunate to have Michael's Grandma come and stay with us from last Thursday to Tuesday. We had a fantastic time visiting Mary and the Serge clan in Michigan in July and we were lucky to have Grandma come to MN this time.

Mary is 87 years old; she is a terrific Grandma and Greatgrandma, she lives by herself in MI, she keeps on top of her her politics (she especially likes Rush Limbaugh!), she has her excercize classes, she is a great cook and she takes care of her family. For me, still somewhat 'new' to the Adkins family since Mike and I were married 3 years ago, I have especially enjoyed getting to spend time with Mary at her house in July and this past week while she stayed at our place. We were able to stay up later a few nights and hear stories about how life was for Mary growing up, learn about her family, debate current events, and lament over the dire condition Michigan is in!

I was especially grateful that Grandma Mary was able to be here for Jude's baptism over the weekend, not to mention she was a great help in the preparation of food and having company over. Mike and I were talking to each other about how we both missed our mothers on the occasion of Jude's baptism. Both of our mothers really were a pulse for our family dynamics; things are just different now. And we were also talking about how we were sure our mothers would have been good friends and were disappointed that they were never able to know each other. Alas. God is good and we know his plan is perfect. Although we know Mary as Grandma and Greatgrandma, she truly was a wonderful mother figure to us all this past week.

Our new member of the Church!

On Sunday, November 8th, Jude Michael was baptized. It was a wonderful mass at the Cathedral and we had a nice meal afterward. Jude did not make a peep while the priest poured water on his hair; Faustina, however, was taken behind the altar by Mike in the middle of it because she was making a fuss and then she wandered back while we were all still standing around the baptismal fountain! Since Jude was baptized in the middle of mass, there were a couple hundred eyes watching Faustina make her debut. People said it was humorous, and luckily she was not too disruptive. John grabbed her as she was walking around and she was walking around. Jude is fortunate to have John and Mary Lee as his godparents. We were thrilled that Great Grandma Mary was in town (in fact, Mike organized his baptism around her visit) to celebrate with us. We missed Grandpa Lee since he was up north deer hunting; and, of course, no occasion is the same without Grandma Lee. We have confidence that she was rejoicing with us from above.

Gentle Jude

This is the response I get whenever I say "Hi Gentle Jude" to our almost 3 month old dear son.

Thoughts on Halloween

With 2 very young kids, Mike and I are figuring out what we think about Halloween. I, personally, never liked dressing up when I was a kid; thus, Halloween was more of a cultural 'holiday' I had to endure. However, it seems like it gets more and more popular each year. And I can see how it would be fun for our kids to get dressed up and go around the neighborhood to different houses getting candy and seeing others' costumes (some of them anyway, some are pretty frightening!) - it is a fun experience.

I like this article from the First Things blog. It is a short little piece, but it puts Halloween in a perspective of Salvation History. The author suggests that Halloween needs to be celebrated in conjunction with All Saints Day (Nov. 1st) and All Soul's Day (Nov. 2nd). She explain how Halloween has a medieval feel to it and represents how we are born pagan and with sin. All Saints Day is our life journey striving to be saints, and All Soul's Day is a memorial the dead. I appreciate this viewpoint and it makes sense to me.

This year we are simply having dinner with some friends tonight. No costumes or trick or treating. Perhaps next year we'll venture out!

Our Karate Kid

Mike astutely pointed out that Jude is karate chopping us in this photo. Maybe he'll be a black belt!

Well, I would say our guy is no longer my little infant. He is all baby. He was 12.1 lbs at 2 months! He is healthy to say the least and quickly gaining on his older sister who only weighed 20.0 lbs at her 17 month appointment.

On Monday I spent over 4 long hours at Children's Hospital getting tests done on Jude. Let me tell you - it was a long 4 hours. Jude had to have a renogram test done which normally takes 90 minutes. Normally. But it our case, it took 50 minutes for the nurses to find a vein to give Jude his IV and it took them five tries of poking a needle in him before they found one. His poor little ankles are so bruised right now. He was crying so hard while they were looking for vein that he head was pretty much florescent red. The asked me if I wanted them to stop trying, well, then I would have had to come back into the hospital at another date for him to go through the whole ordeal again! I told them to push ahead. During the renogram test they pump radioactive chemicals through his body to examine how the kidneys are functioning. So that ended up being about 2 1/2 hours. After that test, he had a more intense 30 minute ultrasound and they watched him pee to see how his bladder system is working.

We talked to the doctor today and we scheduled his surgery for 7am, November 12. The results of the test showed that one of his ureters is blocked by a piece of skin and that NEEDS to be taken care of. We also learned that he has grade 3 (of 5 grades) reflux in his kidneys. Reflux means that urine is passing through his tubes, but then being kicked back UP to his kidneys instead of exiting his system; this is destructive over time. And we learned that the upper pole of his left kidney is basically not functioning. We had a couple of choices for what we could do, but we went with the least intrusive surgery for right now (which was to get that piece of skin removed at the bottom of his left tube) and we'll keep watch on how his kidneys are doing in the next 2 years. He could grow out of the reflux and it could be a non issue that the upper pole on his left kidney doesn't work (it is not a necessary part for the body, but it could be obstructive).

As long as we make regular appointments with the urologists to see how his kidneys are working in the next few years, it sounds like he should be fine. Thank the Lord for our good doctors and technology that helps us!

Happy Feast day of Saint Jude

Our little guy was named after the Apostle Jude, Patron saint of lost and difficult cases. We ask that you intercede on our behalf today, Saint Jude!

This time - it ALL came off [UPDATED]

Faustina takes a sort of 'quiet time' in the mornings now. She doesn't sleep, but usually plays in her crib. Today she kept saying, 'Mama' over and over. So I went in there and she was smiling and said 'Potty!'.

Oh no. I looked and she had unbuttoned the one button, unzipped and wiggled her way out of her pajamas. And then, of course, taken her diaper off. She peed in her crib - but at least that is all! She has done this several times before, but she has never stripped everything off.

I took her out and she pointed to the bathroom (and actually said 'bathroom'). She sat on her potty and laughed for a few minutes.

Could the potty training be starting? At 17 months? They say girls are potty trained earlier, but this seems really early. We're open to it, but I'm not going to hold my breath!




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Faustina actually DID go pee in her potty twice this morning. No accidents (yet). I am letting her run around naked (as one method of potty training) and I asked her if she had to go potty. She said 'Yep!'. So we went to the bathroom and she DID it and wiped herself. This is quite exciting....we'll see where it goes from here!

Faustina and the boys

I think this guy might like me.


A lot!


Let's dance.


This is kind of awkward. We don't even really know each other.


What happen to dancing?


Do you play for the Vikings or something!?


That's what you get for taking me down.


I'll take you and your teddy home now, Faustina. We're done. I don't like to be locked in a cage.



TWO of you! And you are trying to convince me to stay?


I'm outta here.


Just kidding!


Faustina had a fun time yesterday hanging out with the Ahlberg twins! Faustina and Evan definitely had a thing going.

Unseen grace

Well, yes, of course grace is unseen. But I have found that most often I am looking for a sign in the sky or a voice from heaven for an answer to prayers; really, I am looking for something obvious. I guess God doesn't often work that way.

But I am ever so grateful for the abundant amount of grace the Lord has blessed me and my family with the past 6 months. Between all the life-changing events of Mike starting a new job in July, Jude being born in August, and losing my Mother in September, I am almost surprised to find myself in one piece sometimes. God has been so present and he continues to be now.

As I mentioned, I look for God to make big things happen; but, actually, I know that grace begins with small little little decisions I make. Last week I was feeling very sorry for myself for a few reasons. I knew I was not thinking correctly about several situations, but I couldn't help my thought patterns. I jumped on my bike and went over to Nativity for confession. I didn't want to do this, but I knew it would be a good thing to do. I stumbled through my confession and, when leaving the confessional I was not very impressed with what the priest had to offer me. He told me to go and say St. Francis's 'Prayer for Peace'.

Well, again, God's grace and mercy really was overflowing because that is exactly what I needed to pray.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Yes, I had said and heard this prayer hundreds of times, but it hit me in a new way this time. As I had been drowning in my own sorrows, I was unable to see what needs were around me and how I need to be active in being an instrument of God' grace. Right now it sounds kind of corny to write, but it really is true and it hit me like a brick on the head. My Mom had always showered me with so many gifts all the time; now it is time for me to take her lead and try my best to leave every situation better than I found it and to be Christ to every person I am around.

I left the church and as I got on my bike I saw a man who was probably in his 80's going into the church. But I stopped and stared because he could barely walk. He had parked right outside the church door. Each step he took was probably about 5 inches (really, I'm not exaggerating), actually it was more of a shuffle. I wanted to help him, but wasn't sure what to do because I basically would have stood there while he shuffled his way in the door. Looking back I still should have tried to help him.

As I rode home, I was thinking about how that man was exerting so much effort to go to confession to receive God's grace. I was thinking about how I was thankful for God's 'quiet' way of redirecting my thoughts the last 15 minutes in church and giving me a renewed peace after going to the sacrament of confession. I have to work hard to remember that the Holy Spirit is always at work, I just need to be aware and ready to receive his grace!

She's a natural

As much as Faustina loves the telephone (as it seems most kids do), we usually don't let her play with it. She found it while we were outside the other day, however, and I couldn't take it away; she was hilarious. She was walking up and down the sidewalk talking and talking and talking on it. She had the hand gestures, babbling voice inflections, she was laughing, she was looking at the trees, and very intense. I just didn't have the heart to take her away from her 'conversation'.

Cute pics of the week

Farm life....in the city

This is a picture of a squirrel my Dad caught in their front yard. He is on a daily mission to eliminate squirrels and rabbits that raise havoc in his yard. I am always fairly amused going over there because my Dad is always up to something new and he is a good story teller. He'll say, "Those darn squirrels are so dumb." And than go on to explain how he catches them.

I have always kind of felt like I grew up on a farm in the middle of the city. And I always liked that feeling; I got the best of both worlds. Both my parents are from farms in North Dakota and only moved down to St. Paul in the late 70's. My Dad's house is the actual old 'farm house' on the block. There are pictures of it with cornstalks surrounding the house and ladies in big dresses standing on the porch.

Not only the house, but my parents' habits brought a feeling of country life to our family. They always had a paper route, which meant there were countless times from ages 8-20 that I got at 3:30am to do the paper route in the neighborhood (kind of like milking cows early in the morning!). My parents have a real burning fire place in the house which I love. Many mornings I woke up to coming downstairs to a crackling fire and the wonderful smell. (It is a dream of mine someday to have a real burning fire place - I just absolutely love them.) We always kept the dogs outside in the back yard to run around. Growing up, my brother would take their bb guns to the second floor of the house and shoot coke cans that they had set up in the back yard. We always painted the big story house as a family. Every year in October we changed out the screen window for the storm windows - and there are something like 28 windows to do that for! My Dad has pretty much always had a truck for us to drive; he now has an old Ford (maybe 1980?) he likes. And than we often went back to the farms in North Dakota and hung out there with family. And than the fact that we never ate out as I was growing up, my Mom always had food ready for us and a good meal.

I love that life, and now sometimes I even feel like I could move out to the actual country. That is appealing to me (that is something Mike and I would have to talk about! :). I am thankful for the values that sort of life instilled in me.

3 years down and 72 to go....

that is, if we take after my great aunt Ann and uncle Otto. A few days ago I found a newspaper article at my parents place about how Ann and Otto were celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary! They were both in the mid-nineties and they had been married for 75 years; then they died within 6 months of each other. They told the news reporter that they fell asleep every night holding hands in bed and then they woke up that way! They said they still tried to kiss a lot in public so people knew they loved each other. The reporter asked what their 'secret' to marriage was. Ann said, 'there is no secret if you know how to be good to another person.' Sounds pretty simple!

Happy Anniversary dear Husband - I hope we can be married another 72 years. :) A lot can happen in three years, just look at our cute kids; I can't imagine all that can happen in 75 years of marriage!