A Home

Note: this is not a home that we bought! Hahahah. Just a generic picture for the post. :)

Trying to figure out what to do about our home has been consuming a lot of our time and energy lately.

We have kept an eye out for possibilities of homes to move to for awhile now. When Faustina was born in '08, we spent some time in the fall looking at houses knowing that our family would grow and we would want a different place at some point.

Since Benedict was born, we are beginning to feel the squeeze a bit.

Don't get me wrong, we are fine here and could make it work for quite a bit longer - and maybe we will. I keep thinking to myself, "Jesus was born in a stable!" "Mother Teresa did not have any sort of luxury home!" But at the same time, I know our family will have more than what the Holy family lived in or Mother Teresa given well...things just are not like that now!

We are in the middle of discernment, and it is kind of fun to think in 10 years the story we'll have to tell. At this point, I am looking online often and in the past 3 months we have probably looked at 50-75 houses in person!

To get all philosophical for a moment, it is fascinating to think of what a home means to people. And now having our own family, it is interesting looking at all these different homes and contemplating what kind of home we want to make for our children. What are we willing to give up of our desires and what is a 'must'? As a nerdy classics major I think of Homer's figure Odysseus and what his travels home meant to him. He longed day and night to be home with his wife, Penelope and son, Telemakhos; he endured trial after trial and conquered temptations in order to reach home. I think of the book "Jayber Crow" by Wendell Berry and what living in a small town and owning his own home as a single man meant to him. A home is part of a person's identity. Fascinating. Looking at pictures of families, most of them are in the home. When I think of people and their family, often times I picture them in their homes. It is just the way it is, I guess.

Time will tell what is in store for us. We are contemplating getting a pod to clear our own house out in order to get ready for the market. We are looking at houses and perhaps hoping for a contingency in order to sell our home. We are thinking of adding on a second story to our own home since we like it and our location so much. Who knows. But whatever does happen, I hope it is done and we don't have to ever think about moving again!

Thankfully, family and people are the main component of what makes a home. And we really do love our current home; it would be very sad to think of actually leaving this place!

My little elf babe

Lenten readings

My 2 highlights during this Lenten season have been going to Stations of the Cross at St. Agnes on Fridays and 2 books about men of incredible faith.

Going to Stations of the Cross at St. Agnes this year and hearing the reflections and seeing the images for each station of what Jesus endured and suffered for me has brought me to a new level of heart ache for my own sins. The reflections are beautiful as they exhort a person to never separate himself from the love of Jesus again by grievous sin.

My other highlight has been reading Father Gereon Goldmann's "The Shadow of His Wings" and reflecting on the book "He Leadth Me" by Walter Ciszek. Both of these men are saints, I really believe. They tell their stories and their faith is absolutely astounding. They both lived during WWII and endured unbelievable conditions including solitary confinement, POW camps, personal rejection and persecution for their catholic faith. They way their write their accounts is little episode after episode of how God works in their lives. It is riveting and jolting at how the Holy Spirit guides them and their faith holds them high in every situation they find themselves.

As I was talking to Mike the other night about "In the Shadow of His Wings" Mike was telling me about an article he read by Schall entitled "The Catholic Mind". Mike was explaining Schall's premise of how every situation in our life is a prototype of the Garden of Eden story. We are in the Garden with the Lord, he instructs us and tells us to keep his commandments, we have a choice to make, and the choice end up in the appropriate consequence - good or bad. That episode is done, and then it happens all over again. Over and over and over again. There are different people involved in each story, different details, different times etc - but the model is the same. Fascinating, and it really does make sense as I apply it to these two books and men of great faith.

Rewinding to Christmas

A few weeks after Christmas, a good friend asked if we got a picture of Benedict bringing him home in his Christmas stocking. What a great idea! - he IS our Christmas baby after all and the best Christmas present imaginable. But, I just never got around to it.

So, last week I decided to still get that picture since he is still small enough. And now he is smiling in it too - I love it.

Pretty in pink

Faustina loves everything pink. She loves clothes. She loves talking about fashion and complimenting other people's fashion. I put on my red shoes yesterday and she said, "Oh, I just love your fancy red shoes, Mom!".

This morning she was asking me questions for almost 20 minutes (that is a long time) about our wedding wondering what my dress looked like, what food was there, what people were there and who was married at our wedding. She asked what Dad wore and she asked where we got married. My goodness she asks hundreds of questions! Too many for my morning mind. She insisted that she is marrying Jude, but she has to wait until he gets up from his nap.

Yesterday a friend let her borrow a pink fluffy 'ball gown dress' which she is loving to pieces. This afternoon someone is taking her to pick out an Easter dress and she is being extra good in order to keep that privilege. She is dancing around the house in this pink dress... and I'm not looking forward to giving it back to its owner.

'Cado' boy learning to smile

Jude loves avocado. One whole avocado was his breakfast this morning. His new obsession is cameras (of course, all kids love mom and dad's camera). But Jude wanted me to take pictures of him this morning. "Take picture of me, Momma!" So a photo shoot began and as I told him to smile, it took him many tries to get it right.

Mom, "Smile, Jude!"

"Open your eyes, Jude!"

"Close your mouth, Jude!"

Jude trying to figure what exactly to do. Me, "Jude, just smile nicely!"

There we go.

Big Brother Jude

The first month Benedict was with us, Jude did not quite know what to think of him. At first when we brought Benedict home, Jude called him "Baby Paul". To give him credit, I was taking care of 2 baby Pauls during the previous 4 months. But, soon, it became apparent when Jude realized that Benedict never left, he was intentionally calling Benedict 'Paul' out of a sort of denial. At one point, he called him Benedict by his proper name and then backtracked and said, "No, I want him to be Paul."

The next stage was when Jude stopped calling Benedict, 'Paul', but then he decided to just ignore him. We would ask Jude who the baby was, and Jude just acted like he was not there and would not even look at him. Often, he just turned his back on Benedict and looked at us with a blank stare.

This, however, only lasted a few weeks.

Jude started to warm up to his brother in February. First he started to call Benedict by his name and pointed to him. Next he became very concerned when Benedict would cry. He would exclaim, "Benedict! Help him Mom!" and point to his crying brother. Then when Mom and Dad were busy looking at a house, he crouched next to Benedict in his car seat and while putting his finger on his mouth whispered "ssshhhhh! It's okay Benedict!". This last week he has been getting new people's attention and pointing to his brother and introducing Benedict to people saying "This is Benedict!". Yesterday, he actually put Benedict's nuk in his mouth for him and was successful in quieting him (for a few moments!).

Also on the Jude front is that he cannot get enough of planes, trains, and automobiles. He talks about them all all all the time and he never tires of playing with any toys of that nature that we own. A friend gave him a blue metal airplane that he sleeps with and takes everywhere with us. He zooms it around for strangers saying, "Wook! Wook at my airplane!!" and he makes the 'vvvrrrroooooommmmm' sound with his lips. He is very excited about it.

Finally, the blanket that Grandma Lee made him was beginning to become shredded due to all the use it was getting. So, Jude's blanket also got a make-over. It literally gets taken everywhere and dragged on all sorts of floors. So, I made a new quilt top of cars, trucks, and airplanes (things which Jude is obsessed with) and I sewed it right on top of Jude's old blanket. So it still has the same soft familiar back and the older blanket from Grandma is still preserved inside. There was about half a day of transition, but Jude adjusted to the new look.

What a bumper sticker gets you

Is a note like this left on your windshield....!


On our old Camry, I had a Gustavus sticker from years ago. In order to cover that up, we put a bumper sticker that says, "Pray for an end to abortion."

Apparently, the person who left this note on our car really does not agree with us!

Note to self: topics to avoid in conversations during this heated election year and maybe all the time: politics in general, abortion, gay marriage, let's see, what else....

Pics of the day

This cute baby boy looks like he belongs to the other Adkins family - really! I think He looks just like his uncle. He certainly is a happy little guy.

Headed outside today. This is what we do in 40 degree February weather! (at least I think it is suppose to hit 40 today....)I love Jude's chub face and, of course, Faustina has the big sister "I'll take care of you" look.

Dodge Nature Center

This morning my awesome SIL called offering us an opportunity to go visit the Dodge Nature Center. I have heard great things about it for a long time but we just haven't made it there. It was a fun morning and the kids were able to learn a bit about Reptiles and Amphibians; they were even able to touch some! Wow, these animals really are spectacular - animals are so incredibly fascinating. No wonder kids love them so much. At one point the guide let a tarantula out on the floor to crawl around which was a bit terrifying. Jude is especially into animals and he liked the morning - although he does look a bit freaked out in the pictures.

Valentine Treats

Mike made the 14th a special Valenine's Day for the kids (and me!)by bringing home cards and a lady bug and bumble bee filled with treats. The kids were pretty excited, to say the least. Faustina is at the age where these little gifts are her special little treasures that she doesn't forget. And she talks about it for the next many many days! Why is she wearing a swimming suit? Well, there really is no good answer for that, except that she is still changing clothes many times a day. She is all girl.

My little opossum

I'm starting to call Benedict my little opossum because this is his favorite position.

He likes to be on his tummy on my arm. I feel like my arm is a tree branch and he is hanging on like a opossum. Usually I just hold him on one arm and carry him around like a football; often he wraps his arms tightly around my arm and it seems like if I let go of him he would hang there all by himself!

This little guy is more of a baby now than an infant - he is not so fragile anymore. His is getting bigger each day, getting longer, and he is now smiling!

Actually he started smiling noticeably a few days before his baptism. I thought babies didn't smile until they were at least a few months old - but this little guy's smiling response to our silly baby talk is undeniable.

Here is crazy man Jude with his brother Benedict on the day of Benedict's baptism. Jude is doing one of his 'funny' faces and this is one of Benedict's first times smiling.

Thumbs up to cars

Jude loves his cars. Loves his match box cars. Over the course of the last week, he has carefully lined them up in 25 different places or surfaces around the house including on the organ, the crib, every table, chair etc. Slowly they will all make their way to every single place in the house. He is a boy of great detail!

The Rule sheets

My dear husband is a designer at heart. This is one of the things I love about him and I didn't even know it until after we married!

So, he put together the new Rule Sheets for Faustina and Jude. We have been having some 'special' times (mainly) with our eldest - the black and white lines had to be drawn. Faustina loves looking at her 'responsibility' sheet and we read it every morning to remind us of what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

It has helped quite a bit. There still have been many tantrums, but we now have clear rules and clear consequences. I actually have taken out some parenting books that were given to me years ago but I have yet to crack them open. I am amazed at how children have such a sense of justice. Faustina is accepting of her punishments even though she may not like them. She even has thanked me for punishing her!

I am quite confident that this is only a phase our young daughter is going through. It may be a long phase, but I trust it will be conquered as she matures. Unfortunately, both Mike and I clearly recall being very (and me especially very ) difficult for our parents at times. She is only three years old, I must remind myself and she is growing at a rapid rate. After 2 different highly explosive tantrums this week, she took 4 hour naps.

Her strong will, determination, her perseverance are all good qualities, they simply need to be trained and channeled!

Oh, what an opportunity for us all to grow in virtue - especially parents!

As I start to think about Lent....

Lent is not for a few weeks, but it is time for me to start thinking about what I can do. I find the following article on Mother Teresa incredibly inspiring. This list of 15 ways to increase humility may be a good Lenten challenge. What a beautiful woman - she seems to just glow with goodness in such pictures as the following.
Good article on Blessed Mother Teresa here.

Mother Teresa’s Humility List

1. Speak as little as possible about yourself.
2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
3. Avoid curiosity.
4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
5. Accept small irritations with good humor.
6. Do not dwell on the faults of others.
7. Accept censures even if unmerited.
8. Give in to the will of others.
9. Accept insults and injuries.
10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
11. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
12. Do not seek to be admired and loved.
13. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
14. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
15. Choose always the more difficult task.

More of Baby Benedict's Baptism

It was a good day.

"Exorcizo te, immunde spiritus, in nomine Patris + et Filii + et Spiritus + Sancti..."

Today we had baby Benedict baptized in the older form of the Latin rite liturgy. The Baptism begins in the narthex (entrance) of the church with an exorcism of unclean spirits. Next, the family processes down the nave of the church chanting the Creed followed by the Our Father. Throughout, the child is exorcized, blessed, anointed with oil, impressed with salt ("salt is the symbol of wisdom which gives a relish for the sweetness of divine nourishment") and finally baptized with water and words of the sign of the cross. Parents and godparents partake in "The Renunciation of Satan" (cf. the scene from Godfather Pt. II!) where they reject Satan and all of his evil works and promises. The baby's white garment (in olden days worn for 8 straight days by the newly baptized) symbolizing the purity of a soul cleansed from all sin. The godparents are given the baptismal candle as a sign to keep the new light of faith burning brightly for the child no matter what the circumstances.

A beautiful and symbolic liturgy administered by Fr. Ubel - our thanks to him. We had an open house with a few family and friends beforehand. Danish ebleskeevers (sp???) were feasted upon by all.

Good times. Deo gratias.

Coming out of the fog

For the last 2 months I have basically felt like this:


I wish I looked and felt as heavenly as this picture:

This is a normal morning at home as Faustina is eating cereal. She simply cannot get enough of her dresses. Auntie found this beautiful dress for a few dollars for Faustina.

Just now I am starting to come out of a 'having a newborn' fog and starting to feel that perhaps I remember what it is like to be a normal person again. People have been so helpful and generous - we are so very grateful. Life is busy here with day to day activities. I am in the stage that there is always much to do around the house, but my hands are full with - Benedict!

Jude and Faustina are good; just a few days ago I was thinking to myself how yes, they still are toddlers, but they seem more and more like young kids each day. There certainly is a difference. The few months before Benedict was born, Faustina and Jude were unusually difficult and would act up at the drop of the hat. They knew some change was quickly coming as Mom's tummy grew. Now, after Benedict was born, they have returned to themselves and actually are even easier than before - fascinating!

As I think about life moving forward and the fact the kids are so young and close, Benedict's face captures a fleeting thought:


But I take each day as it comes and it all turns out. I am getting plenty of sleep at night which is incredibly helpful.