In loving memory

Yesterday would have been my Mom's 66th birthday. Family gathered at the cemetery to honor her, remember her, and read a few scripture passages and readings. A family friend is buried right next to Mom and there also happens to be a little tree next to both of them. The Krause family decorated the tree as a Christmas tree and put family pictures on it. What a great idea! That was extra special. Afterward, we all went to breakfast as we have done the past few years.

I think it is no coincidence (although I don't believe anyone realized it at the time of picking Mom's card) that the picture on Mom's holy card is an image of the Holy Family and her birthday happens to be the Feast of the Holy Family in the Catholic Church. I don't recall making this connection the past few years, but somehow it makes sense.

One of my brothers read 1 Cor. 13:1-7 - this is one of the more well known passages saying "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." And he went on to explain how Mom showed this love to us all.

I read a reading about the Holy Family. One paragraph that especially reminds me of Mom is the following, "The family is the fundamental project and pursuit of the human person. It is the place in which human life begins, is nurtured, and is cherished. In the family, the human person learns to love by being loved, and learns that each person has an incalculable dignity that must be respected and affirmed in small or great ways each day."

We sure miss Mom, but we are thankful that we can do our best to live out the Christian life she taught us.

A terrific Tuesday

Today we were spoiled as we spent most the day with our dear friend, Lizzia. We started the morning by bringing 4 beautiful roses out to Resurrection. Lizzia always picks out the most beautiful flowers. The kids helped cut and arranged them in the vases. It was an absolutely perfect perfect morning out - it is so peaceful at Resurrection, I love it.
We then went over to Choo-choo-Bob's and soon after to get some Izzy's Ice Cream next door. Seeing Jude eat his ice cream cone was about the funniest thing I've witnessed in a long time. He held onto it for dear life with both his hands as ice cream dripped down his chin onto his shirt and he kept yelling 'truck!', 'car!', 'airplane!'. We then headed over to the park for an hour and ended up at Cecil's. Can't ask for much better of a day! Everyone (which is unusual!) had a long nap and then woke up and was ready to play again seeing that Dad picked up a kiddie pool at Menards for the kids. We had dinner outside and the kids entertained us. It sounds like it is suppose to be hot toward the end of the week - we'll be using the pool again it sounds like.

65

It would be Mom's 65th birthday today. Time is a funny thing; although it seems like a very long time since we lost Mom (I think because so much has happened in the last few years), memories still provide a very real experience of Mom for me on a daily basis. I still feel like I could pick up the phone and call her - she will always be that close and present to me. And for that, I am grateful!

Thoughts on Heaven [updated]

As I miss my Mother and continue to grieve our loss, I have had two main ideas on my mind lately.

Strangely, I have been thinking a lot about heaven. This is a tricky topic because, of course, we don't really know anything about heaven. So everything I am thinking is speculation; nonetheless, it is changing my every day perspective. And actually, I would say heaven is something worth speculating on, maybe even necessary. My imagination is taking over and my mind explores different possibilities of what heaven will be like. I read G.K. Chesterton's book Orthodoxy a few months ago and he has an absolutely mind blowing chapter entitled "The Ethics of Elfland". He talks about creativity, imagination, fantasy, fairy tales etc. Here is one excerpt I like:

My first and last philosophy, that which I believe in with unbroken certainty, I learnt in the nursery. I generally learnt it from a nurse; that is, from the solemn and star-appointed priestess at one of democracy and tradition. The things I believed most then, the things I believe the most now, are the things called fairy tales. They seem to me to be the entirely reasonable things. They are not fantasies: compared with them other things are fantastic. Compared with them religion and rationalism are both abnormal, though religion is abnormally right and rationalism abnormally wrong. Fairyland is nothing but the sunny country of common sense. It is not earth that judges heaven, but heaven that judges earth; so for me at least it was not earth that criticised elfland, but elfland that criticised earth. I knew the magic beanstalk before I had tasted beans; I was sure of the Man in the Moon before I was certain of the Moon"

It is easy to think of heaven as fantastical or unreal, but truly it is entirely reasonable just like G.K. Chesterton suggests of fairy tales. It makes sense that there is a heaven, it is a part of Christian belief. It is, however, somewhat difficult to even think about since we know so little about what God has in store for us in the afterlife. After all, who ever could have imagined some of the reality of the life we live in now!

Or I love this one too:

"A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition of Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."

Again, God made Nature so wonderful and each person so unique, really, we can only imagine what heaven will be like! I would not say that I want to go to heaven now; but I would say that when the time is right I will be excited to see what heaven is like. I do not fear dying or the afterlife. I have also often think of C.S. Lewis's "Till We Have Faces" which is the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche retold. The village sacrifices Psyche to save itself but she actually is taken by the faceless 'God' to live in the mystical mountains and be his 'wife'. The main character, Orual, goes to find her beloved sister, Pysche, in the mountains. When Orual does, in fact, find Psyche in the mountains happily 'married', she cannot understand her new life (heaven). Orual is engulfed in her selfish love for Psyche and cannot let her loved one go.

It all is quite mysterious. Although these quotes and books may sound existential, they are not. As scripture says, we must keep our eyes on the goal and persevere. And that brings me to the second point I have been contemplating. I have a lot of work to do here on earth. Most of it will probably never be publicly recognized. But the important thing is that I seek God's will and try my best to always serve him. Augustine said in his "Grace and Freewill" that we all are suppose to be on the road to sainthood. That means I am suppose to be perfect! And since I am fallen, I cannot do that without God's grace and continually asking him for help. Hopefully that attempt to be holy will bring me to heaven someday, to live forever with the Lord. I think of how much I love my two children and how I only want the best for them. How much more God loves us and wants the best for us.

Mom, I ask that wherever you are, you intercede for us here on earth!

===============================
updated by Mike...


I recommend the book: Everything You Wanted to Know About Heaven (but never dreamed to ask) by Peter Kreeft. We actually own this... I'll recommend it to Cynthia!

Tiny Dancer [Updated]

The Lee family is finding all sorts of things in the house - some bring back a flood of memories.

I can imagine Gail wearing this in the late 1980's on a big, puffy winter jacket, or maybe pinned on an enormous purse. Priceless.

I bet many didn't know this side of Cynthia!

-------------------------------------------------
Wow. That was a LONG time ago. I think it is safe to say that is a side most people will never see of me! :)

Remembering Gail & Giving Thanks

First of all, I would like to direct you to Carmen's blog. He has kept this since March after Gail was diagnosed with cancer in early February. There are a lot of wonderful memories on here, especially what he has written this past week in honor of Gail. I want to honor Carmen for his powerful witness to love and service of his wife these past seven and a half months.

Since my own mother's death, Gail has been like a 2nd mother to me. I will miss her greatly: the profound friendship she had with Cynthia, her love for Faustina & Jude, her model of motherly goodness, the fun she and Carmen had together, and her kindness to me (among many other things). As I reflected yesterday, she treated me as if we had a special relationship; certainly we did, but she treated everyone that way. I am grateful to God for having Gail in my life.

Although I have faith that Gail is now with the Lord and I perhaps will earn the privilege to see her again in Eternity, it was still somewhat frustrating to go over to their place tonight and not see her; I had a hard time not talking about or thinking about her. The thoughts and feelings are the same as they were in 2003 (and I suspect will be for some time as then), and I don't think I can say much better than I did here.

Deo gratias. Thanks to everyone for their prayers and help these past days. The following is from the beautiful ending of Dante's Paradiso (XXXI, 1-42):

Then in the pattern of a pure white rose
Was shown to me the saintly soldiery
Whom Christ has made his bride with his own blood.

But the other host — who, flying, see and sing
The glory of him who fills them with his love
And the goodness that made them magnificent—

Just like a swarm of bees, alight in flowers
At one instant and in the next returning
To where their toil attains its fragrant taste—

Flew downward into that vast flower, fringed
With myriad petals, and rising up from it
Sped back to where their love forever rests.

Their faces all glowed with a living flame;
Their wings were gold, and their whole form so white
That no snow ever rivaled such pure whiteness.

When they dove to the flower, row on row,
They spread some portion of the love and peace
Which they won when they waved their wings on high.

Nor did the flight of such a multitude
Coming between the upper light and flower
Block out the vision and the sea of splendor.

For the divine light through the universe
So penetrates in measure to its worth
That there is nothing to stand in the way.

This jubilant and ever-restful kingdom,
Thronging with people of old and modern times,
Kept gaze and love all focused on one goal.

O threefold Light which, in a single star
Sparkling upon their sight, so pleases them,
Look down here on our storms that rage on earth!

If the barbarians, come from the North
Which day by day is spanned by Helice,
Rotating with her son on whom she dotes,

Were struck with wonder when they sighted Rome
And her high-towering buildings, at the time
The Lateran surpassed all mortal works,

I, who had come out of our human life
To the divine, from time to the eternal,
From Florence to a just and wholesome people —

What was the wonder which welled up in me!
In truth, what with my stupor and my joy,
I happily heard nothing and stood silent.

Requiescat in pace: Gail Marie Lee [2nd UPDATE]

Pictured: Gail & Jude - 3 weeks ago today just hours after his birth.
Grandma Gail passed away around 12:40pm on Monday.

We live in hope and we believe that she was born into Eternal Life.

She was a humble, gentle, kind, and profoundly faithful person - please pray for the repose of her soul.

We believe that Gail is in the Lord's protection now.

Thank you for your prayers.

Thursday, Sept. 17th - Prayer Service & Visitation at Trinity School at River Ridge (601 River Ridge Parkway, Eagan, MN 55121). Visitation will begin at 5:30 and run until 8pm; at 8pm there will be honoring of Gail - Cynthia and three others will share at this time.

Friday, Sept. 18 - Funeral Mass at Lumen Christi in St. Paul (2055 Bohland Ave, St Paul, MN 55116-1911) at 10 am followed by interment at Resurrection Cemetery in Mendota Heights (2101 S. Lexington Ave., Mendota Hghts, MN 55120).

A luncheon estimated at 1pm will follow at Lumen Christi. All are welcome to every part of the day: funeral, interment, and luncheon.

Memorials will be printed in the Pioneer Press and Star Tribune the rest of the week.

This is what the obituary in the Pioneer Press and Star Tribune reads:

Loving Wife, Mother, Grandmother & Friend Age 63 Met Jesus September 14, 2009 with family by her side after a courageous battle with breast cancer. Survived by husband Carmen of 41 years, children John (Mary), Travis, Aaron (Amy), Cynthia (Mike), grandchildren Henry, Liam, Leo, Faustina, Audrey and Jude, mother Marian, brothers Allen (Debbie), Mark (Mary) and sister Debbie (Dale). Her father Charles Saunders preceded her in death. Gail grew up in North Dakota earning a Masters of Education from Minot College. However, she viewed her decision to be a "stay at home mother" her calling. Gail always made family her priority and served in countless ways as a covenant member of People of Praise Christian Community. Her joy and selflessness will be irreplaceable. Visitation 5:30-8pm Thursday September 17 at TRINITY SCHOOL AT RIVER RIDGE, (601 River Ridge Pkwy, Eagan), with a prayer service starting at 8pm at the school. Mass of Christian Burial 10 AM Friday September 18 at LUMEN CHRISTI CATHOLIC CHURCH, (2055 Bohland Ave., St. Paul), with a visitation 1 hr prior to the Mass at the church. Interment Resurrection Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorials preferred.

Praying for Grandma Gail... UPDATED

Grandma Gail, Cynthia's mom, is fighting hard against cancer right now. Please pray for Gail and for her family in this time.

We pray that the Lord's will be done, and that whatever happens will be filled with God's ever abundant grace, compassion, and mercy.

Asking for the intercession of St. Jude and St. Faustina on Gail's behalf is greatly appreciated. St. Jude is the patron of lost, difficult, or seemingly hopeless cases.

Praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and especially at 3pm (the hour Christ died for mankind's sins), is a wonderful way to support Gail and her family.

1. Begin with the Sign of the Cross, 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:
Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Teresa of Avila

This past week I have been spending nights with my Mom while my Dad works security at the State Fair. Mom is doing well although everyday has its own 'twist' if you will. We do not know what the Lord is up to, but we continue to pray that the Lord's will be done and that she is healed.

Mom and I watched a movie series on Teresa of Avila which is about 9 hours. She endured tremendous suffering and was truly an unbelievable woman. It is refreshing to learn about the saints; they are men and women of character who choose to give everything to God, and he uses them in miraculous ways. They are not 'perfect' people by any means, but they are fortified in their faith and have a courage that is sometimes hard to believe. Teresa lived during the 16th century in Spain and was a controversial figure; people either loved or hated her. She definitely had an edge to her and had a will of steal. Lord, use our own gifts to always glorify your name.

St. Jude, pray for us!

Saint Joseph

Saint Michael the Archangel

Saint Jude

I've been reminded recently of my namesakes: St. Michael the Archangel, St. Joseph, and St. Jude (my Confirmation name).

Not only have I been asking for prayers for Gail from St. Faustina, apostle of Divine Mercy, but those other great saints who have done much in my own life.

Here are some prayers, people! Please, through Christ, ask these saints for intercession for Gail to our Father in Heaven. Gratias vobis!

St. Jude Prayer
A Prayer to St. Jude Thaddeus

Most Holy Apostle, St. Jude Thaddeus, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of his enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors you, and I invoke you as the special advocate of those who are in trouble and almost without hope. Help me to realize that through our faith we triumph over life's difficulties by the power of Jesus who gave his life for us. Come to my assistance that I may receive the consolation and succor of heaven in all my needs, trials, and sufferings, particularly that Gail be healed and cancer free, and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.

St. Jude, apostle of the Word of God, pray for us.

St. Jude, follower of the Son of God, pray for us.

St. Jude, preacher of the love of God, pray for us.

St. Jude, intercessor before God, pray for us.

St. Jude, friend of all in need, pray for us.

St. Jude, pray for us, and all who invoke your aid.

Thank You Saint Jude for answering my prayers. Amen.

St. Michael Prayer
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Prayer to St. Joseph over 1900 years old
(offer this up for Gail, and re-devote yourself to God.)

O St. Joseph whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the Throne of God, I place in you all my interests and desires. O St. Joseph do assist me by your powerful intercession and obtain for me from your Divine Son all spiritual blessings through Jesus Christ, Our Lord; so that having engaged here below your Heavenly power I may offer my Thanksgiving and Homage to the most Loving of Fathers. O St. Joseph, I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms. I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press him in my name and kiss His fine Head for me, and ask Him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, Patron of departing souls, pray for us. Amen

(Say for nine consecutive mornings for anything you may desire. It has seldom been known to fail.)

We attended a Vigil mass at the Cathedral of St. Paul on the eve of World Day of the Sick. The mass was beautifully said by Archbishop John Neinstedt who delivered a wonderful homily on carrying the cross in suffering as Christ.

As we continue to storm the gates of Heaven with our prayers for Gail, I am reminded continuously by the words I hear from Scripture that we must always remember to end our prayers with "Thy will be done."

The Lord has total control over our lives. Like Job, we have no idea what is going on or what is best for us. The Lord can in fact heal us and others around us through allowing us to go through suffering or purification. In many ways, those faithful ones who suffer are miracle workers, for they are witnesses to those around them.

Yet we also know that in the Gospels Christ heals many, many people; for this we pray: (1) that Gail's illness remind us all of the frailty of life and therefore we ought to love one another better by first reorienting our lives toward the Creator God (Ash Wednesday is coming up: "You are dust, and unto dust you shall return."); (2) that the Lord's will be done and achieved in this difficult situation; and (3) we humbly pray that the Lord grant many more years to Gail and for her family members who dearly lover her. Amen.

On Sickness & God's Healing Love

Thinking about Gail, I came across the following reflection-

On Sickness and God's Healing Love
"We Are Made for Life"

VATICAN CITY, FEB. 8, 2009 (Zenit.org).- Here is a translation of the address Benedict XVI delivered today before praying the midday Angelus with those gathered in St. Peter's Square.

* * *

Dear brothers and sisters,

Today the Gospel (cf. Mark 1:29-39) -- in direct continuation with last Sunday -- presents us with Jesus, who after having preached on the Sabbath in the synagogue of Capernaum, cured many ill people, beginning with Simon's mother-in-law. Entering his house, he found her in bed with a fever and immediately, taking her by the hand, he healed her and had her get up. After sunset, he healed a multitude of people afflicted with all sorts of ills.

The experience of the healing of the sick occupies a good portion of the public mission of Christ and it invites us once again to reflect on the meaning and value of illness in every situation in which the human being can find himself. This opportunity comes also because of the World Day of the Sick, which we will celebrate next Wednesday, Feb. 11, liturgical memorial of the Virgin Mary of Lourdes.

Despite the fact that illness is part of human existence, we never manage to get used to it, not only because sometimes it comes to be burdensome and grave, but essentially because we are made for life, for complete life. Precisely our "internal instinct" makes us think of God as plenitude of life, and even more, as eternal and perfect Life. When we are tested by sickness and our prayers seem in vain, doubt wells up in us and, filled with anguish, we ask ourselves: What is God's will?

It is precisely to this question that we find an answer in the Gospel. For example, in the passage of today we read: "He cured many who were sick with various diseases, and he drove out many demons, not permitting them to speak because they knew him" (Mark 1:34). In another passage from St. Matthew, it says: "He went around all of Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom, and curing every disease and illness among the people" (Matthew 4:23).

Jesus does not leave room for doubt: God -- whose face he himself has revealed -- is the God of life, who frees us from all evil. The signs of this, his power of love are the healings that he carries out: He thus shows that the Kingdom of God is near, restoring men and women to their full integrity in spirit and body. I refer to these healings as signs: They guide toward the message of Christ, they guide us toward God and make us understand that man's truest and deepest illness is the absence of God, who is the fount of truth and love. And only reconciliation with God can give us true healing, true life, because a life without love and without truth would not be a true life. The Kingdom of God is precisely the presence of truth and love, and thus it is healing in the depths of our being.

Thanks to the action of the Holy Spirit, the work of Jesus is prolonged in the mission of the Church. Through the sacraments, it is Christ who communicates his life to the multitude of brothers and sisters, as he cures and comforts innumerable sick people through so many activities of health care service that Christian communities promote with fraternal charity, thereby showing the face of God, his love. It is true: How many Christians all over the world -- priests, religious and laypeople -- have given and continue giving their hands, eyes and hearts to Christ, true physician of bodies and souls!

Let us pray for all the ill, especially for those who are most grave, and who can in no way take care of themselves, but depend entirely on the care of others; may every one of them be able to experience, in the solicitude of those who are near to them, the power of the love of God and the richness of his grace that saves us. Mary, health of the sick, pray for us.

[After praying the Angelus, he said:]

[. . . .]

As I said just a moment ago, next Feb. 11, memorial of the Virgin Mary of Lourdes, the World Day of the Sick is celebrated. In the afternoon, I will meet with the sick and other pilgrims in St. Peter's Basilica, after the holy Mass that the president of the Pontifical Council for Health Care Ministry, Cardinal Lozano Barragán, will preside over. From now, I assure my special blessing to all the sick, the health care workers and the volunteers of every part of the world.

[Translation by ZENIT]

Happy Birthday Grandma

Thanks for being the best Grandma! Just as you have always loved and served your kids and husband, you have done the same for your grandchildren. And they LOVE Grandma!

Grandma All Loaded Up

A few nights ago I all of sudden became violently ill. Grandma and Grandpa came to the rescue and not only did Grandma come over to help for awhile, but she took Faustina HOME with her for the evening which was a lifesaver!

Well, at one point Grandma was going to change Faustina's diaper. I told her they were downstairs drying. For a moment I contemplated vocalizing that she only needed to bring one diaper up (there were about 18 down there), but I figured that was probably obvious. Also, Grandma loves the little babies so much that she often is holding them no matter what she is doing. Well, moments after Grandma went downstairs to get the diaper, I hear her laughing uncontrollably coming up the stairs. She comes around the corner and here Grandma has all the diapers piled on her arms and Faustina hanging on for dear life! It was very amusing. Faustina was not fazed in the least, but she did have a look on her face like, "What are you doing Grandma??".

This situation may give Mike a little bit of insight as to why I do things the way I do sometimes - We Lees can tend to be women of extremes!