This is too funny!

I could not resist posting this video. Hilarious and, sadly for the progressivists, true.

"Give us a heart of flesh"

I was talking today with someone who said he had heard a terribly boring homily/sermon on Christmas day-for him, it was a great disappointment. I will refrain from the parish and the details...

I also talked to another person today who said that he had heard one of the best, in fact, the finest Christmas homily he had ever heard. I was very grateful for this news as it balanced out what I had heard earlier.

The text of this wonderful homily is below. Thanks to the friend who mentioned this to me. And for my friend who suffered through a terrible Christmas homily, this is for you!

But before I reveal the text, let me say that indeed this is one of the best Christmas homilies I have ever heard too.

CHRISTMAS HOMILY OF POPE BENEDICT XVI 2009

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

“A child is born for us, a son is given to us” (Is 9:5). What Isaiah prophesied as he gazed into the future from afar, consoling Israel amid its trials and its darkness, is now proclaimed to the shepherds as a present reality by the Angel, from whom a cloud of light streams forth: “To you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord” (Lk 2:11). The Lord is here. From this moment, God is truly “God with us”. No longer is he the distant God who can in some way be perceived from afar, in creation and in our own consciousness. He has entered the world. He is close to us. The words of the risen Christ to his followers are addressed also to us: “Lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age” (Mt 28:20). For you the Saviour is born: through the Gospel and those who proclaim it, God now reminds us of the message that the Angel announced to the shepherds. It is a message that cannot leave us indifferent. If it is true, it changes everything. If it is true, it also affects me. Like the shepherds, then, I too must say: Come on, I want to go to Bethlehem to see the Word that has occurred there. The story of the shepherds is included in the Gospel for a reason. They show us the right way to respond to the message that we too have received. What is it that these first witnesses of God’s incarnation have to tell us?

The first thing we are told about the shepherds is that they were on the watch – they could hear the message precisely because they were awake. We must be awake, so that we can hear the message. We must become truly vigilant people. What does this mean? The principal difference between someone dreaming and someone awake is that the dreamer is in a world of his own. His “self” is locked into this dreamworld that is his alone and does not connect him with others. To wake up means to leave that private world of one’s own and to enter the common reality, the truth that alone can unite all people. Conflict and lack of reconciliation in the world stem from the fact that we are locked into our own interests and opinions, into our own little private world. Selfishness, both individual and collective, makes us prisoners of our interests and our desires that stand against the truth and separate us from one another. Awake, the Gospel tells us. Step outside, so as to enter the great communal truth, the communion of the one God. To awake, then, means to develop a receptivity for God: for the silent promptings with which he chooses to guide us; for the many indications of his presence. There are people who describe themselves as “religiously tone deaf”. The gift of a capacity to perceive God seems as if it is withheld from some. And indeed – our way of thinking and acting, the mentality of today’s world, the whole range of our experience is inclined to deaden our receptivity for God, to make us “tone deaf” towards him. And yet in every soul, the desire for God, the capacity to encounter him, is present, whether in a hidden way or overtly. In order to arrive at this vigilance, this awakening to what is essential, we should pray for ourselves and for others, for those who appear “tone deaf” and yet in whom there is a keen desire for God to manifest himself. The great theologian Origen said this: if I had the grace to see as Paul saw, I could even now (during the Liturgy) contemplate a great host of angels (cf. in Lk 23:9). And indeed, in the sacred liturgy, we are surrounded by the angels of God and the saints. The Lord himself is present in our midst. Lord, open the eyes of our hearts, so that we may become vigilant and clear-sighted, in this way bringing you close to others as well!



Let us return to the Christmas Gospel. It tells us that after listening to the Angel’s message, the shepherds said one to another: “‘Let us go over to Bethlehem’ … they went at once” (Lk 2:15f.). “They made haste” is literally what the Greek text says. What had been announced to them was so important that they had to go immediately. In fact, what had been said to them was utterly out of the ordinary. It changed the world. The Saviour is born. The long-awaited Son of David has come into the world in his own city. What could be more important? No doubt they were partly driven by curiosity, but first and foremost it was their excitement at the wonderful news that had been conveyed to them, of all people, to the little ones, to the seemingly unimportant. They made haste – they went at once. In our daily life, it is not like that. For most people, the things of God are not given priority, they do not impose themselves on us directly. And so the great majority of us tend to postpone them. First we do what seems urgent here and now. In the list of priorities God is often more or less at the end. We can always deal with that later, we tend to think. The Gospel tells us: God is the highest priority. If anything in our life deserves haste without delay, then, it is God’s work alone. The Rule of Saint Benedict contains this teaching: “Place nothing at all before the work of God (i.e. the divine office)”. For monks, the Liturgy is the first priority. Everything else comes later. In its essence, though, this saying applies to everyone. God is important, by far the most important thing in our lives. The shepherds teach us this priority. From them we should learn not to be crushed by all the pressing matters in our daily lives. From them we should learn the inner freedom to put other tasks in second place – however important they may be – so as to make our way towards God, to allow him into our lives and into our time. Time given to God and, in his name, to our neighbour is never time lost. It is the time when we are most truly alive, when we live our humanity to the full.

Some commentators point out that the shepherds, the simple souls, were the first to come to Jesus in the manger and to encounter the Redeemer of the world. The wise men from the East, representing those with social standing and fame, arrived much later. The commentators go on to say: this is quite natural. The shepherds lived nearby. They only needed to “come over” (cf. Lk 2:15), as we do when we go to visit our neighbours. The wise men, however, lived far away. They had to undertake a long and arduous journey in order to arrive in Bethlehem. And they needed guidance and direction. Today too there are simple and lowly souls who live very close to the Lord. They are, so to speak, his neighbours and they can easily go to see him. But most of us in the world today live far from Jesus Christ, the incarnate God who came to dwell amongst us. We live our lives by philosophies, amid worldly affairs and occupations that totally absorb us and are a great distance from the manger. In all kinds of ways, God has to prod us and reach out to us again and again, so that we can manage to escape from the muddle of our thoughts and activities and discover the way that leads to him. But a path exists for all of us. The Lord provides everyone with tailor-made signals. He calls each one of us, so that we too can say: “Come on, ‘let us go over’ to Bethlehem – to the God who has come to meet us. Yes indeed, God has set out towards us. Left to ourselves we could not reach him. The path is too much for our strength. But God has come down. He comes towards us. He has travelled the longer part of the journey. Now he invites us: come and see how much I love you. Come and see that I am here. Transeamus usque Bethlehem, the Latin Bible says. Let us go there! Let us surpass ourselves! Let us journey towards God in all sorts of ways: along our interior path towards him, but also along very concrete paths – the Liturgy of the Church, the service of our neighbour, in whom Christ awaits us.

Let us once again listen directly to the Gospel. The shepherds tell one another the reason why they are setting off: “Let us see this thing that has happened.” Literally the Greek text says: “Let us see this Word that has occurred there.” Yes indeed, such is the radical newness of this night: the Word can be seen. For it has become flesh. The God of whom no image may be made – because any image would only diminish, or rather distort him – this God has himself become visible in the One who is his true image, as Saint Paul puts it (cf. 2 Cor 4:4; Col 1:15). In the figure of Jesus Christ, in the whole of his life and ministry, in his dying and rising, we can see the Word of God and hence the mystery of the living God himself. This is what God is like. The Angel had said to the shepherds: “This will be a sign for you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger” (Lk 2:12; cf. 2:16). God’s sign, the sign given to the shepherds and to us, is not an astonishing miracle. God’s sign is his humility. God’s sign is that he makes himself small; he becomes a child; he lets us touch him and he asks for our love. How we would prefer a different sign, an imposing, irresistible sign of God’s power and greatness! But his sign summons us to faith and love, and thus it gives us hope: this is what God is like. He has power, he is Goodness itself. He invites us to become like him. Yes indeed, we become like God if we allow ourselves to be shaped by this sign; if we ourselves learn humility and hence true greatness; if we renounce violence and use only the weapons of truth and love. Origen, taking up one of John the Baptist’s sayings, saw the essence of paganism expressed in the symbol of stones: paganism is a lack of feeling, it means a heart of stone that is incapable of loving and perceiving God’s love. Origen says of the pagans: “Lacking feeling and reason, they are transformed into stones and wood” (in Lk 22:9). Christ, though, wishes to give us a heart of flesh. When we see him, the God who became a child, our hearts are opened. In the Liturgy of the holy night, God comes to us as man, so that we might become truly human. Let us listen once again to Origen: “Indeed, what use would it be to you that Christ once came in the flesh if he did not enter your soul? Let us pray that he may come to us each day, that we may be able to say: I live, yet it is no longer I that live, but Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20)” (in Lk 22:3).

Yes indeed, that is what we should pray for on this Holy Night. Lord Jesus Christ, born in Bethlehem, come to us! Enter within me, within my soul. Transform me. Renew me. Change me, change us all from stone and wood into living people, in whom your love is made present and the world is transformed. Amen.

Thoughts on Heaven [updated]

As I miss my Mother and continue to grieve our loss, I have had two main ideas on my mind lately.

Strangely, I have been thinking a lot about heaven. This is a tricky topic because, of course, we don't really know anything about heaven. So everything I am thinking is speculation; nonetheless, it is changing my every day perspective. And actually, I would say heaven is something worth speculating on, maybe even necessary. My imagination is taking over and my mind explores different possibilities of what heaven will be like. I read G.K. Chesterton's book Orthodoxy a few months ago and he has an absolutely mind blowing chapter entitled "The Ethics of Elfland". He talks about creativity, imagination, fantasy, fairy tales etc. Here is one excerpt I like:

My first and last philosophy, that which I believe in with unbroken certainty, I learnt in the nursery. I generally learnt it from a nurse; that is, from the solemn and star-appointed priestess at one of democracy and tradition. The things I believed most then, the things I believe the most now, are the things called fairy tales. They seem to me to be the entirely reasonable things. They are not fantasies: compared with them other things are fantastic. Compared with them religion and rationalism are both abnormal, though religion is abnormally right and rationalism abnormally wrong. Fairyland is nothing but the sunny country of common sense. It is not earth that judges heaven, but heaven that judges earth; so for me at least it was not earth that criticised elfland, but elfland that criticised earth. I knew the magic beanstalk before I had tasted beans; I was sure of the Man in the Moon before I was certain of the Moon"

It is easy to think of heaven as fantastical or unreal, but truly it is entirely reasonable just like G.K. Chesterton suggests of fairy tales. It makes sense that there is a heaven, it is a part of Christian belief. It is, however, somewhat difficult to even think about since we know so little about what God has in store for us in the afterlife. After all, who ever could have imagined some of the reality of the life we live in now!

Or I love this one too:

"A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition of Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."

Again, God made Nature so wonderful and each person so unique, really, we can only imagine what heaven will be like! I would not say that I want to go to heaven now; but I would say that when the time is right I will be excited to see what heaven is like. I do not fear dying or the afterlife. I have also often think of C.S. Lewis's "Till We Have Faces" which is the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche retold. The village sacrifices Psyche to save itself but she actually is taken by the faceless 'God' to live in the mystical mountains and be his 'wife'. The main character, Orual, goes to find her beloved sister, Pysche, in the mountains. When Orual does, in fact, find Psyche in the mountains happily 'married', she cannot understand her new life (heaven). Orual is engulfed in her selfish love for Psyche and cannot let her loved one go.

It all is quite mysterious. Although these quotes and books may sound existential, they are not. As scripture says, we must keep our eyes on the goal and persevere. And that brings me to the second point I have been contemplating. I have a lot of work to do here on earth. Most of it will probably never be publicly recognized. But the important thing is that I seek God's will and try my best to always serve him. Augustine said in his "Grace and Freewill" that we all are suppose to be on the road to sainthood. That means I am suppose to be perfect! And since I am fallen, I cannot do that without God's grace and continually asking him for help. Hopefully that attempt to be holy will bring me to heaven someday, to live forever with the Lord. I think of how much I love my two children and how I only want the best for them. How much more God loves us and wants the best for us.

Mom, I ask that wherever you are, you intercede for us here on earth!

===============================
updated by Mike...


I recommend the book: Everything You Wanted to Know About Heaven (but never dreamed to ask) by Peter Kreeft. We actually own this... I'll recommend it to Cynthia!

Video: "Does God exist?"

This is a great argument for why the youth ought to be taught doctrine and dogma as opposed to simply indoctrinating them about feelings, "values," and social justice.

Faith and reason.

Teresa of Avila

This past week I have been spending nights with my Mom while my Dad works security at the State Fair. Mom is doing well although everyday has its own 'twist' if you will. We do not know what the Lord is up to, but we continue to pray that the Lord's will be done and that she is healed.

Mom and I watched a movie series on Teresa of Avila which is about 9 hours. She endured tremendous suffering and was truly an unbelievable woman. It is refreshing to learn about the saints; they are men and women of character who choose to give everything to God, and he uses them in miraculous ways. They are not 'perfect' people by any means, but they are fortified in their faith and have a courage that is sometimes hard to believe. Teresa lived during the 16th century in Spain and was a controversial figure; people either loved or hated her. She definitely had an edge to her and had a will of steal. Lord, use our own gifts to always glorify your name.

Vocation gift

Our friend Rose recently discerned her vocation to religious life, having always dreamed of getting married and having kids. Her story is amazing. God clearly has chosen her and called her to serve Him in vows. She was named after Rose of Lima (read about the saint here), and entered into her budding order (not yet fully approved) on the Feast of St. Rose of Lima. Again, her story is just too amazing and powerful to not take note of here. We chose to give her a gorgeous hand-painted image of St. Rose of Lima that I purchased when in Peru this past spring. She should have this in the convent. Thanks be to God for His love and making Himself known to us through prayer and fidelity. He has been good to Rose by clearly revealing Himself and His plan to her, and now it is her turn to serve His Church.

DEO GRATIAS MAXIMAS!
Saint Rose of Lima, pray for us.

Not 'too much' anymore

Right now we have a 5 foot crucifix against the wall in our basement. This absolutely beautiful crucifix has been in and out of our house over the years and will eventually go back to the Catholic Studies Department at St. Thomas. It is a large piece of art and can easily become a conversation piece when someone sees it in our small little house. People asked, "What are you going to do with it?", someone joked, "You should put it above your bed!", someone exclaimed, "That is huge!".

I am growing a special attachment to this crucifix. When Mike was gone and I was unable to go to our midnight hour of adoration, I made a mini little 'chapel' in our basement as I set up a kneeler in front of this crucifix. Years ago, maybe even one year ago, I would have said or thought, "Come on. This is too much. I don't need to kneel in front of a cross to pray. God is everywhere. This is overboard, too pious, too extreme. This is a bit silly for me to kneel in front of a 5 foot tall crucifix - it is almost bigger than me!"

Well, my thinking has changed. Images are important. Art is important. There is a grace present in these icons. Praying before this crucifix gives me the humble image of Jesus on the cross dying for my sins. He is real - here is his presence. When Mike and I were married, I was hesitant to let him decorate our house with icons, Catholic symbols, and other such religious art; now I love it. I realized that I was being a Christian...but I shyed away from a Christian culture. And this is a key realization for me: one ought not try to separate Christianity from culture. We are a Christian family, so naturally our house will reflect who we are and what we hold important. Of course we want visuals on our walls of the Lord, Mary, and the saints to be reminders for us to live good and holy lives as we strive for the kingdom of heaven.

I love going to the Cathedral because I sit in Church and marvel at the beautiful artwork and can say "Yes, this is who we are. This is a little taste of heaven.". I had the same feeling when I lived in Rome for a semester and visited the churches there. They truly have culture.

We attended a Vigil mass at the Cathedral of St. Paul on the eve of World Day of the Sick. The mass was beautifully said by Archbishop John Neinstedt who delivered a wonderful homily on carrying the cross in suffering as Christ.

As we continue to storm the gates of Heaven with our prayers for Gail, I am reminded continuously by the words I hear from Scripture that we must always remember to end our prayers with "Thy will be done."

The Lord has total control over our lives. Like Job, we have no idea what is going on or what is best for us. The Lord can in fact heal us and others around us through allowing us to go through suffering or purification. In many ways, those faithful ones who suffer are miracle workers, for they are witnesses to those around them.

Yet we also know that in the Gospels Christ heals many, many people; for this we pray: (1) that Gail's illness remind us all of the frailty of life and therefore we ought to love one another better by first reorienting our lives toward the Creator God (Ash Wednesday is coming up: "You are dust, and unto dust you shall return."); (2) that the Lord's will be done and achieved in this difficult situation; and (3) we humbly pray that the Lord grant many more years to Gail and for her family members who dearly lover her. Amen.

On Sickness & God's Healing Love

Thinking about Gail, I came across the following reflection-

On Sickness and God's Healing Love
"We Are Made for Life"

VATICAN CITY, FEB. 8, 2009 (Zenit.org).- Here is a translation of the address Benedict XVI delivered today before praying the midday Angelus with those gathered in St. Peter's Square.

* * *

Dear brothers and sisters,

Today the Gospel (cf. Mark 1:29-39) -- in direct continuation with last Sunday -- presents us with Jesus, who after having preached on the Sabbath in the synagogue of Capernaum, cured many ill people, beginning with Simon's mother-in-law. Entering his house, he found her in bed with a fever and immediately, taking her by the hand, he healed her and had her get up. After sunset, he healed a multitude of people afflicted with all sorts of ills.

The experience of the healing of the sick occupies a good portion of the public mission of Christ and it invites us once again to reflect on the meaning and value of illness in every situation in which the human being can find himself. This opportunity comes also because of the World Day of the Sick, which we will celebrate next Wednesday, Feb. 11, liturgical memorial of the Virgin Mary of Lourdes.

Despite the fact that illness is part of human existence, we never manage to get used to it, not only because sometimes it comes to be burdensome and grave, but essentially because we are made for life, for complete life. Precisely our "internal instinct" makes us think of God as plenitude of life, and even more, as eternal and perfect Life. When we are tested by sickness and our prayers seem in vain, doubt wells up in us and, filled with anguish, we ask ourselves: What is God's will?

It is precisely to this question that we find an answer in the Gospel. For example, in the passage of today we read: "He cured many who were sick with various diseases, and he drove out many demons, not permitting them to speak because they knew him" (Mark 1:34). In another passage from St. Matthew, it says: "He went around all of Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom, and curing every disease and illness among the people" (Matthew 4:23).

Jesus does not leave room for doubt: God -- whose face he himself has revealed -- is the God of life, who frees us from all evil. The signs of this, his power of love are the healings that he carries out: He thus shows that the Kingdom of God is near, restoring men and women to their full integrity in spirit and body. I refer to these healings as signs: They guide toward the message of Christ, they guide us toward God and make us understand that man's truest and deepest illness is the absence of God, who is the fount of truth and love. And only reconciliation with God can give us true healing, true life, because a life without love and without truth would not be a true life. The Kingdom of God is precisely the presence of truth and love, and thus it is healing in the depths of our being.

Thanks to the action of the Holy Spirit, the work of Jesus is prolonged in the mission of the Church. Through the sacraments, it is Christ who communicates his life to the multitude of brothers and sisters, as he cures and comforts innumerable sick people through so many activities of health care service that Christian communities promote with fraternal charity, thereby showing the face of God, his love. It is true: How many Christians all over the world -- priests, religious and laypeople -- have given and continue giving their hands, eyes and hearts to Christ, true physician of bodies and souls!

Let us pray for all the ill, especially for those who are most grave, and who can in no way take care of themselves, but depend entirely on the care of others; may every one of them be able to experience, in the solicitude of those who are near to them, the power of the love of God and the richness of his grace that saves us. Mary, health of the sick, pray for us.

[After praying the Angelus, he said:]

[. . . .]

As I said just a moment ago, next Feb. 11, memorial of the Virgin Mary of Lourdes, the World Day of the Sick is celebrated. In the afternoon, I will meet with the sick and other pilgrims in St. Peter's Basilica, after the holy Mass that the president of the Pontifical Council for Health Care Ministry, Cardinal Lozano Barragán, will preside over. From now, I assure my special blessing to all the sick, the health care workers and the volunteers of every part of the world.

[Translation by ZENIT]

Grandma Elaine...

Faustina Elaine was named after not only the famous St. Faustina, but also after my mother, Elaine, who passed away June 22nd, 2003.

Today would have been her 55th birthday...
I remembered her today in prayer and I brought her to the altar at mass.

I think I have dealt with (or tried to deal with) her death as well as one can (certainly there are moments), but the hardest thing for me, I think, is the fact that she cannot share joyous moments with Cynthia and I (and the little ones too, of course). I mean, selfishly, I cannot experience events and times in life where I know her joy would have augmented the sheer pleasure of my own life. Yes, I know that her being here, as all that she was - full of life -, would make those precious moments even more so. Yet I must confess, I appreciate and love my mother better now than I ever did when she was alive, but I suppose we all do that- not appreciate what we have until it's gone.

Yet I trust and have hope in the Lord's mercy. I have always thought that my mother was a good woman, and that her suffering was redemptive not only for the sake of her own salvation but for mine and our family in general. (But back to me again - because this reflection on her is really all about me!)

A friend and colleague of mine at Trinity offered a profoundly wise week of morning prayer reflections at school: he pointed out that the life of our Lord, Jesus Christ can be likened to a Greek tragedy. Now of course, tragedy has to be defined carefully; a tragedy is different from catastrophe. Both are hard and cause pain, but a tragedy has a redemptive element to it, whereas catastrophe is simply destructive. And so if Christ's life is the 'perfect' tragedy, and we are called to imitate Him, then we must not only follow Him as admirers but also carry our cross of suffering. We must embrace both the triumph and the tragedy of our Lord - we must be transfigured by His magnificence and His liberating, beatific love while simultaneously offering ourselves to be crucified in a world that St. Paul says is fundamentally passing away.

I wish I had the text of what he wrote... it was one of the most profound yet clear explanations of human suffering and our challenging call to beatitude I have ever heard. Kudos to Scott.

I bring this in because I firmly believe in God's providence, and I see my Mom's suffering coincide with my 'transfiguration', my true conversion. Only through this could I embrace the cross too.

As my wife, brother, and sister-in-law know best, I am a completely different man than I was even 5 or 6 years ago; I still am a great sinner, but my life is no longer oriented toward me, myself, and I (I know... I still need work); it is oriented toward the Lord; I possess faith, that great grace from God. So, because of this, I long for her to see me as I am now, a son of hers who deeply appreciates her and wants to actually share life with her (rather than shut her out and be unappreciative) and tell her about my day and my passion to share the good news. I want to see her call Granny and talk about nothing for an hour and laugh to myself. I want to see her pick up Faustina and grin at her and tickle her and care for her. I want to see her talk with Cynthia and share her life, and look through old photo albums, and cook Thanksgiving dinner together. I want her to look at me and be proud of who I am and what I've done... well, she always did that... but I want her to actually have something to be proud of rather than just loving me so much for being her son (yeah, she loved us all that much- she was a jealous Mom, kind of like how Yahweh was a jealous God in the Old Testament- we were all everthing to her: Dad, Kim, Jason, Granny, and me).

So, with that babbling, I praise the Holy Trinity for my Mother who remained faithful to the Lord and the Church (as much as she knew how in such a troubled era), and I thank God; and I offer my intercession for the repose of her soul, and I know I can also, through Christ, beseech her to look after us and intercede for us as we struggle on the journey to be saints, knowing that if she could she would - and would have already.

Amen.

= = = = = = = =

My lovely sister-in-law, Annamarie, offered this reflection today as well:

It would have been my mother-in-law’s 55th birthday today. Dear Husband and the boys marked the occasion by going to Mass together and praying for her (while I was bedridden).

As Booger gets older, I am more determined for him to know and remember that he does have another grandmother — one that he has never met, unfortunately.

About a week ago, the boys and I were driving around between errands when I realized how close we were to the cemetery where Elaine is buried, and how long it had been since I’ve gone there.

I also realized that this would be the first time our coherent eldest would be visiting her grave, though he’s gone plenty of times as a baby and toddler.

How interesting it was to have a discussion with Boo Boo about where we were and what we were doing. When we got to the mausoleum and I showed him her grave (which is conveniently located on the lowest level, so the boys can see it easily), he put his eyes up to the marble stone and said, “Why can’t I see her in there?” His curiosity and innocence helped lighten the mood a little, at least.

I had the boys kneel next to me and began to pray out loud. We all were a little surprised when I started crying. It really had been a long time since Elaine had died, and we’ve had to go on without her, but the thought that she would never meet and see our children — and DH’s brother’s children — in this life still overwhelms me with grief from time to time.

“It will be OK, Mama,” Boo Boo said, patting my shoulder. He’s right. I do have to trust that it will be OK, someday, and pray for our reunion in the next life. Then we’ll have all the time in eternity with each other…

A quiet, unique time

In the past few months I have often found myself sitting back and thinking, "Wow, I am SO lucky to be able to stay home with Faustina! I have the best 'job' in the world!" And then another thought immediately follows with a bit of guilt, "Am I doing enough? What else would the Lord have me do?" I enjoy perusing other mothers' blogs; many of these mothers are devout Christians with families, some have jobs, a full plate and they just are always busy and so productive! I am inspired and in awe of all that these women do. I try to keep our small house organized and somewhat clean and even this is a difficult task for me at times!

Over the past few months, I know the Lord has been telling me to simply enjoy this time when the kids (I'm also caring for another little one) are young. My job is to love them up, satisfy their needs, and to absorb this special time of having babies around and acknowledging that I DO have more quiet time around the house and to enjoy that!The kids will get older, life will get busier, discipline and training will need to start, kids will have school, God willing Faustina will have siblings, and there never will be a time again quite like this. There are times when Mike and I can literally sit around for hours and just enjoy each others' company and hang out with Faustina. What a blessing!

The Lord has also put it on my heart to spend more time in prayer since I do have a great deal of quiet time during the day. And that truly is 'doing' something. Praying for people, saying the rosary, reading about the saints, learning new prayers to memorize, reading the Bible, listening to spiritual talks; these are all activities that people often say they just don't have time for in their busy lives. Well, staying at home with a 7 month old gives me time to do those things. People need prayer; I and my family need to be strengthened in the Lord to prepare us to do his will. I pray that even when life is more busy I still have grace to make this a daily priority!