Wondering Faustina

Mike and I are not sure how much Faustina remembers of Grandma Lee, if any. But Faustina is making some connections; if I ever seem sad to her, she asks me if I am missing Grandma.

While we were in the car this afternoon, out of the blue, she initiated a conversation about Grandma Lee.

Faustina: Momma,I want to go to Grandma's house
Me: Do you mean Grandpa's? He is not there, he is gone deer hunting.
Faustina: Nooo! I want to go to Grandma's. (she made it very clear)
Me: Well, Faustina we all miss Grandma; but we trust and believe she is in Heaven now.
Faustina: Is heaven God's house? (what - did she really just ask that?)
Me: Yes, it is.
Faustina: I want to go to heaven to see Grandma and God.
Me: We can see God here on earth too. But if we serve and love God during our lives, someday we can go to heaven like Grandma.
Faustina: Oh.Okay.

Fascinating what our children are processing.

A second mother

On Friday we were able to take care of friends' 4 month old baby, Ava. It was absolutely fascinating to see how Faustina responded to her and helped take care of her.

I know many toddlers like babies, but Faustina really wanted to be her mother!The five hours Ava was with us, Faustina's attention did not waver. She wanted to feed her, burp her, give her toys, she insisted if Ava cried that her tummy hurt because she was hungry.

I guess the most surprising thing to me was that she actually was helpful! I don't expect toddlers to be of much help until they are maybe three or four, and even then it seems limited. For the better part of an hour I was able to work at the stove a few feet away from Faustina and Ava while Faustina played with her and actually gave a bottle when she was fussy.

Just a few minutes ago I was holding Jude in blanket and Faustina was holding her baby wrapped in a blanket;every single action and affection I displayed she imitated me exactly for about 15 minutes. Hilarious. It was like I was looking in the mirror, except it was my daughter; it is all very fun.

Of course, Faustina's mothering side also includes her following Jude around saying, "No, No, No....Jude. You stop that or you will go in your crib. One...Two...Three..."

Little tiny people

Click here to see an amazing picture of a baby at 10 weeks. I would dare to say that if we had pictures like these back in the '70's, Roe v Wade would have had a different outcome...

Our ballerina!

On Friday Faustina started her ballet lessons. Did she like it? Well, she cried when we had to go home...
At this point there is a lot of jumping up and down and running around in the two year old class. But you have to start somewhere!

Outside in October

This month the weather has been absolutely unbelievable. We have been spending a lot of time outside. I will miss out 'second living room' aka. our front yard when the snow starts to fly! We have been spending pretty much all our time outside lately.




Faustina gave this ride to Faustina probably one hundred times.

Feeding the ducks

Feeding the ducks up at St. Kate's has come to be one of Faustina's favorite activities. We make sure to keep all our older bread for the ducks. St. Kate's is a hop skip and jump away from the house I grew up in and there are many good memories there. I remember feeding the ducks myself when I was younger, I remember Sister Chris taking me to get ice cream in the cafeteria, playing hours of soccer and frisbee up there, sledding down the hills, taking senior pictures, etc. It really is a beautiful campus and continues to provide entertainment for our family!

Pumpkin Patch Adventure

Last weekend we all went to a pumpkin patch. We went on a hay ride and picked out some pumpkins for the season. Jude got his faced painted, and Faustina declined.

Saint Jude Sighting!

Had to take a picture of this car... we saw this car parked at St. Andrew Kim parish near our house.

Sancta Faustina, Ora Pro Nobis

Today is the Feast Day of St. Faustina, after whom we named our little daughter.

Read all about St. Faustina here.

Happy Feast Day!

Fender-bender

Yesterday, Cynthia was driving with the kids on 66th in Richfield and heading through a stoplight was struck head-on by a turning car. The car did not yield properly at the light, accidentally hitting our van.

Thank God, no one was hurt. The kids are great, and Cynthia is just fine. Cynthia did suffer a minor injury with a wrist sprain. She was checked out today and it is indeed just a sprain and she'll be back to normal in a few days.

We are thankful to God and our Guardian Angels for watching over Cynthia and the kids each day, especially during yesterday's fender bender.

Here's a few pics of the van, now slightly mangled, and also a shot of the police report's description (our van is "Unit 2").

Nothing like a little Monday drama to spice up life...

Motherhood sensitivity

I never thought I would be 'that' mother who had a 'soft' side to her; the kind of mother who goes to a child's piano recital and crys - you know what I mean.

Well, I haven't done that (yet!). But, I have noticed over the past year or so that when I read to Faustina at night - there are many many times when I will almost choke up when I am reading to her, and it often takes me by surprise!

It started about a year ago. At this time, I was just beginning to read books to Faustina that had more substance. Books would talk about family relationships, mother-child relationships and we always read at least one book a night before she goes to bed about God or the Saints. At first I explained it away telling myself that I was more emotional since having lost my own Mother. But, at this point, that is not the whole story.

There really is something that happens in a womans' body and psyche when she has children - she is changed forever! I am sure this 'motherhood sensitivity' as I am calling it manifests itself differently in each individual. I find that I am more sensitive to other mothers, I look at my own childhood differently (now from the adults/parents' perspective), hormones are (literally) different, there is the protective love for your child that you would do anything for your little person. It really is quite amazing. It is no mistake we are made that way - God knew what he was doing!

It reminds me of a situation I encountered when I lived in Seattle. I got to know a woman very well who was 36 years old at the time. She always lived alone, was very outgoing, liked men a lot but never wanted to get married and never wanted to have children. On her birthday when she was turning 37 I was eating lunch with her in her office. I forget exactly how we got into this conversation but she looked at me and she said, "Ya know, last year since I turned 36 years old, I have wanted to have a child so badly." And she started to tear up. She went on to explain to me that she was not even in love with a particular man, and she tried to use her intellect to reason herself OUT of wanting a child. But everything in her wanted to give birth to a child, care for a baby, and raise a little person. It really was a fascinating conversation. Not to say all women are to have children, but God truly made women a certain way - and that is a grace.

Two nights ago I was reading Faustina a story about how during one of Saint Thomas Aquinas' prayer times' Jesus spoke to him from the cross and said he was pleased with Thomas' writings. Jesus asked him what he would like in return. Of course, Aquinas responded, "Only you Lord". I choked up a bit. Faustina noticed and looked up at me. She asked me, "What are you thinking about, Mama?" She was wondering what in the world was wrong with me! Well, it was just one of those times. All mothers have them.

Walking!

On Friday, October 1st, Jude officially starting walking. We've been saying for the past week or two that he would be walking any day, and on Friday he didn't just take a step or two, he walked across a room and then fell over. Since then, he actually has been walking a good amount of the time! He is very cute as he walks with his hands out ready to fall, although he does pretty well for himself. It is hard to believe our little boy will not be crawling much longer! Jude is really into hitting lately - it is amusing that the video starts off with Faustina saying "Don't hit Jude!" We hear that a lot these days...

Carnivores

We again have meat, meat, and more meat around the Adkins' household. This is the fifth year that we (the Lee family)have ordered meat from a family farm. We order half a stear, a whole pig, whole chickens (we have done a lamb) and split everything into four parts. It works out very well and the meat lasts the better part of a year.

On Tuesday the meat was delivered to my Dad's house and it filled his deep freezer that is three feet high and four feet wide probably. A friend and I split it up into four parts and carted it off to the respective families. I love doing meat this way because we get so many different cuts and the price is unbeatable (about $2.84 a pound).

Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be particular about food. I like real food (and there is a lot of fake food out there!). Several years ago we had a few encounters with less than desirable meat at Sam's club and from then on I decided we would not buy meat injected with water, hormones, etc. And if you buy organic meat at a store - it costs an arm and a leg.

We found Bob Otis at the Farmers Market and have been thoroughly happy with his service and meat. He delivers the meat to our home. He kills the stear and pig just for our family, so we can pick exactly what cuts we want and how much of each cut we want. We know the farmer who raises our food; and we appreciate supporting our local farmers. The animals are free range on the Otis farm and although they are not certified organic (too many government hoops to jump through)the Otis farm fulfills all the requirements for healthy organic animals. It is actually surprising, even if a farm is certified organic and meets FDA stipulations, this is not necessarily the most healthy way for an animal to live. Cows are not meant to eat organic corn, they are meant to eat grass. Corn causes the cow to become heavier and fat so that they weigh more and produce more meat to sell, yet this is not their natural diet; in fact, the corn causes the cows to become bloated and have indigestion, so then the farmer need to medicate them so that they are able to digest the corn. It is all very backwards and a person does not learn these facts unless through research. It is all very intriguing and movies like "Food Inc", "Food Matters" and other films are quite informative.

The last few years Mike and I have tried to be more aware of eating a healthy diet (I especially got more interested with my Mom while she was sick) and we like to try to support local farmers and eat local foods. It is so easy and convenient to get frozen food, preparared, or buy cheapers food. But, we try to put money where our mouth is and make the effort to eat in a healthy manner and support local farmers!

We are thankful for the Otis farm and as the cold winter sets in we will enjoy the different cuts we asked for including steak, ground beef, roasts, brats, polish sausage, pork sausage, bacon, ribs, ham, soup bones, and the list goes on!

Jude's smile

Hilarious.

New mode of transportation

Biking. Yesterday I checked to see exactly what Faustina was up to, and she was biking! Yes, she has sat on a bike before and Dad has casually shown her what to do. But she never showed interested before or spent time trying to do it. All of a sudden yesterday she was biking as if she's been doing it all summer long. Crazy! The theme seems to be that when she makes up her mind to do something - she does it.

I am continually amazed at what this child seems to do at a young age. A few months past 2 years old and she is fully potty trained, she usually dresses herself, puts on her own shoes, she trys to take care of Jude (!) and the list goes on. It is fascinating to see how she operates. She observes everything and wants to try everything herself. Often while I am cooking dinner I will be holding her most the time because she simply insists on seeing everything.

A few days ago we were downstairs and Faustina told us to stay downstairs - she was going to get a drink of water upstairs. Immediately a parent says : Uh-Oh. Well, I listened to see what she would do. She pulled a high chair up to the door of the fridge, opened it, she turned the water spout to our water jug, filled her cup. She shut the water spout, the fridge door, got down and carried her glass of water downstairs. It is nice to have her more self sufficient as Jude enters the 'getting-into-everything" stage. Time keeps marching on as these kids get older and I, as a parent, keep thinking they are my little babies! Well, they still actually are, thankfully. :)

Saint of the Day

The last few months I have started putting the Feast Days up on our chalk board by the back door. I have enjoyed doing this since it makes me more aware of the Catholic calendar year, not to mention that it helps me to learn more about each of these saints; also, as a family we can ask for the saints intercession regularly. It is fun to see Faustina learn about the saints and their roles in history.

Today is the optional memorial of St. Robert Bellarmine. He was an Italian living in the sixteenth century and he became a bishop and doctor. I mentioned this to Faustina earlier in the day. Later in the day while we were in the car, Faustina asked if Father Erickson was a bishop (he was over for dinner a few night ago). I was surprised by her question because although I am sure she does not fully understand what she is asking...she is starting to connect some dots.


Here is a quote from our saint for the day:

"Sweet Lord, you are meek and merciful." Who would not give himself wholeheartedly to your service, if he began to taste even a little of your fatherly rule? What command, Lord, do you give your servants? "Take my yoke upon you," you say. And what is this yoke of yours like? "My yoke," you say, "is easy and my burden light." Who would not be glad to bear a yoke that does no press hard but caresses? Who would not be glad for a burden that does not weigh heavy but refreshes? And so you were right to add: "And you will find rest for your souls." And what is this yoke of yours that does not weary, but gives rest? It is, of course, that first and greatest commandment: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart." What is easier, sweeter, more pleasant, than to love goodness, beauty, and love, the fullness of which you are, O Lord, my God?"

~ Saint Robert Bellarmine, from The Ascent of the Mind to God

Triumph of the Cross

Today marks the one year anniversary of my Mother's death, and I know it is no coincidence that she died on the feast day of the Triumph of the Cross.

Emotions have been very close to the surface this whole past week. The second week of September '09 is so very very vivid in my mind, it might as well have been yesterday. Actually, I believe it always will be that vivid; it almost seems like an out of body experience. It sounds strange, but it was very life changing. All the last interactions with my Mom, seeing her suffer, caring for her, and grappling with losing her, well, I can relive it at will because it is all so clear in my mind. It is hard, but it is good too. It is part of still grieving for her, and it is very human.

I was searching for the right picture for this entry and I like this one. It brings to my mind the Communion of Saints surrounding the Cross - and that is where I think of my Mom. My Mom's death continually helps me keep this life in perspective. This life is short, it is a good life, I want to serve as she did, love my family as she did, but ultimately live for God. We all will die - it is inevitable (I never used to think about death!).

Yesterday I spent a few hours at the cemetery. I prayed and I read St. Teresa of Avila's book "Interior Castle". St. Teresa has had a special place in my heart this last year since I watched the 9 hour movie on her with my Mom the last week before she died and my Mom was also reading her book during '09. St. Teresa writes:

"I began to think of the soul as if it were a castle made of a single diamond or of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in Heaven there are many mansions. Now if we think carefully over this, the soul of the righteous man is nothing but a paradise, in which as God tells us, He takes His delight. For what do you think a room will be like which is the delight of a King so mighty, so wise, so pure and so full of all that is good? I can find nothing with which to compare the great beauty of a soul and its great capacity."

Please intercede for us, Mom! We miss you.

A new side to the State Fair

We all enjoyed going to the fair the first Saturday. We went hungry and we left absolutely stuffed with about 10 different kinds of food including sandwiches, roasted corn, lemonade, gyros, and of course, sweet martha's cookies (which were way too sweet for me this year!). Here is a picture of Jude with his cookies and milk - the classic combo.

Our time was limited due to the kids' ages and how much they can handle. We walked around for a few hours, used our coupon book to get the famous foods and then were out of there around 1pm. Both Jude and Faustina were ready for their naps, as you can see in this picture.


The new side to the fair this year was the fact that I was an employee! This was my Dad's fourth year working in one of the parking lots. He worked with Mom the first two years, Travis last year, and this year I did it. It was a bit grueling as the hours were 6pm-6am and the last few days were the hardest; but, considering I was taking care of kids during the day, it wasn't as bad as I expected. We were basically just security, so the hardest part was staying awake. We had a little t.v. so I watched some of my favorites such as the BBC Pride & Prejudice, The Sounds of Music, The Godfather, and I Love Lucy. I read a lot and was able to work on and finish a few knitting projects. I am probably a bit crazy, but I like to those kind of mundane mindless types of jobs and I was able to get some things done! Here is the sheep sweater I was able to finish for Jude. It should fit him through the winter I hope.

St. Joseph's Oratory

Our last day in Montreal we spent exploring St. Joseph's Oratory. St. Joseph's Oratory is on the highest hill in Montreal looking over the city, it really is a marvelous building. The outside of it reminds me a bit of the Cathedral here in St. Paul, MN.

This is a statue of Blessed Brother Andre ('blessed' meaning he is in the process of being canonized). He is the remarkable man behind St. Joseph's Oratory. His story is one that ranks him among the most beloved saints. He was born in the late nineteenth century; he was the 8th child of 12. He was baptized the day he was born since no one thought he would live more than a few days. His whole life he was ailed by illness and frailty (although he lived into his 80's!); for many years he was denied the opportunity to become a priest or monk because of physical weakness. He would be a burden. But Brother Andre persevered, and God performed many miracles through him.

This is a picture of Brother Andre's heart in the Oratory. Amazing!

Brother Andre healed so many people during the 1920's and 30's that people began leaving their canes at the Oratory as a witness to healing. There is no officially recorded number of people that he healed, but it is said to be in the several thousands. People were coming from all over Canada to see him. Brother Andre had a special devotion to St. Joseph and he attributed all healings to the intercession of St. Joseph.

I was fairly emotional as we visited the Oratory. My parents visited St. Joseph's in the fall of '07 when they went on their 7 week trip into Canada. My Mother loved this place and told me all about it. She came back and insisted that Mike and I would have to go some time. And here we were. I understand why she loved Brother Andre's story so much.

Jude helped us drive back over the boarder into the U. S. of A. (not really, we're waiting to get our passports checked here). We thoroughly enjoyed Canada, but it is always refreshing to come back to home sweet home!

Montreal

Montreal was our destination and by far our favorite place. We mainly walked around, ate at a few restaurants, and checked out all the beautiful churches. And these churches were truly incredibly. In many ways, they were on par with the famous churches in Rome. Again, the pictures pretty much say it all.

This was the first Church, called The Church of Gesu, we happened to walk in off the street when we first were in town, and it ended up being my favorite. They had many MANY saints' relic in the side chapels. It had an adoration space for the Shroud of Turin. And the art work was gorgeous. All the walls and ceilings had paintings of the life of Christ and the Saints, but it looked like a pencil drawing. It was quite unique and I really loved it.
Here is one of the side chapels with Saints' relics.
We went to mass here at Our Lady of Notre Dame Basilica. Although the mass was in french, the wonderful thing about the Catholic liturgy is that mass is the same everywhere in the world. Even though we didn't understand the words, we knew everything that was happening. This Church is spectacular!

We went on a carriage ride around the Old Montreal downtown area and got a bit of a history lesson.
We were mesmerized for quite awhile by this street entertainer.
Of course, we had to enjoy the pool and luxuries of our hotel stay!