Triumph of the Cross

Today marks the one year anniversary of my Mother's death, and I know it is no coincidence that she died on the feast day of the Triumph of the Cross.

Emotions have been very close to the surface this whole past week. The second week of September '09 is so very very vivid in my mind, it might as well have been yesterday. Actually, I believe it always will be that vivid; it almost seems like an out of body experience. It sounds strange, but it was very life changing. All the last interactions with my Mom, seeing her suffer, caring for her, and grappling with losing her, well, I can relive it at will because it is all so clear in my mind. It is hard, but it is good too. It is part of still grieving for her, and it is very human.

I was searching for the right picture for this entry and I like this one. It brings to my mind the Communion of Saints surrounding the Cross - and that is where I think of my Mom. My Mom's death continually helps me keep this life in perspective. This life is short, it is a good life, I want to serve as she did, love my family as she did, but ultimately live for God. We all will die - it is inevitable (I never used to think about death!).

Yesterday I spent a few hours at the cemetery. I prayed and I read St. Teresa of Avila's book "Interior Castle". St. Teresa has had a special place in my heart this last year since I watched the 9 hour movie on her with my Mom the last week before she died and my Mom was also reading her book during '09. St. Teresa writes:

"I began to think of the soul as if it were a castle made of a single diamond or of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in Heaven there are many mansions. Now if we think carefully over this, the soul of the righteous man is nothing but a paradise, in which as God tells us, He takes His delight. For what do you think a room will be like which is the delight of a King so mighty, so wise, so pure and so full of all that is good? I can find nothing with which to compare the great beauty of a soul and its great capacity."

Please intercede for us, Mom! We miss you.