Thankful for family

There are so many many MANY things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving (and always!). I am especially thankful for all family, immediate and extended family. Thank you Lord for these special people.

Heavenly View

These pictures don't do justice, but I have an incredible view out my office window-it's especially lovely on sunny days.

Not everyone gets to look out upon an 80 year old baroque-style church with a brazen (albeit green) onion tower... Benedict has a comparable view, I suppose.

FYI: I finally turned in the "final" draft of my master's essay. I suppose there will be one more editing session before it's official, but what a relief. The essay is on the benefits of Latin study, and how they can help to reform the dysfunction of modern education in the west. Of course, it will never happen if the Church doesn't pick up on Latin's central role in the culture's identity. At any rate, Catholic Studies was a wonderful experience.

Childrens Museum

Faustina is 18 months now and it is fun to start exploring all that the Twin Cities offers for little kids. We went to the Children's Museum for the first time this afternoon with our friends the Gipsons. She has been loving books lately, as you can see in the picture; she doesn't seem to mind that it is upside down ;) Faustina seemed to enjoy all the activities and I am sure we'll be back.

All smiles

Really, I cannot get enough of this little guy.

My snuggler

Today Jude is 3 months old and one of my favorite things about a newborn/baby is falling asleep nursing him and then waking up in the morning looking down at this furry little head nestled against me. He is a very good baby and he likes to snuggle with me as much as I do with him! I enjoy this stage....it doesn't last too long....It was only about a year ago Faustina was at this point, and now, of course, she is at the stage where she won't sit still. They really do grow up too fast. Sigh.

Two months

I took this photo from my Dad's blog. I love it. Dad said she was a senior in highschool and she is so pretty! He has been posting all kinds of pictures from when my Mom was younger and I am so proud of her.

Mom died 2 months ago today and although I know it is real....it still really does not seem like it. I miss her more and new things keep coming up that make me miss her more. I find that when I am occupied and busy I feel like I am fine and I can rationalize Mom being gone a bit. When I have more 'thinking' time, especially when I am driving in the car, I often find fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. Things come up that I want to talk to her about. I don't really wonder how she would respond to different situations, people, or events - because I think I know how she would. But I want her to be there and interact with her. I want to experience her and I want my kids to know her. I find that when I am sitting talking to my Dad at his house, my mind tells me how she would respond to the conversation; I hear her voice, I see her facial expressions, I look over to see her sitting on the couch. She might as well be in the other room. It is all so familiar.

I find myself very aware of friends or other people talking about their Mothers. And it just does not seem fair for women so much older than me to still have that privilege. Of course, I know that is wrong thinking, but it makes me think of all the things I will miss experiencing with her and makes me sad.

I have only gone to Resurrection Cemetery once: on All Soul's Day. It was a blustery day. Travis had a put a pumpkin and some kale from the garden there. Dad had left Halloween candy. I had Faustina and Jude there and it was fairly surreal. I felt like I could picture Mom looking down on us all from a bird's eye view. Faustina took the candy Dad had put there and starting running away. I started laughing because I immediately thought of how Mom would have reacted. I know she would have laughed and not minded Faustina stealing her candy. I don't think of Mom residing there at the cemetery, it is hard to explain, but I think of her everywhere now.

It just is hard. There is no way around it. I went to mass on November 2nd, All Souls Day. The priest said something to the effect that everyday should be All Soul's Day because it reminds us of heaven. And, really, heaven is our goal. We're running the race here on earth, and heaven is the prize. And I DO think about heaven a lot now! I guess that is a good thing. Especially since I moved back from Seattle years ago, Mom and I were always in such close communication that I would often think to myself, "Where is Mom now? Is she at women's group? Is she at home? Is she out with Dad?" I actually usually knew where she was. And now I think the same thing. Where is she? I know she is somewhere - and I know (as much as we can know anything about the afterlife) she is in a better place than we are...but what is that like?? These are questions that can't be answered anytime soon. All I can do is pray that the Lord continues to give strength.

Lord of the rosary

With all that has been going on the past 6 months, I have slowly been making my way through Tolkien's trilogy. In the spring I sped through rereading "The Hobbit", but then with Mom being sick, summer, new job, baby etc...I didn't have much time for any reading.

I am nearing the end of the first book and I am completely taken with the story. I look forward to now watching the movies again. All I want to do is sick down and get through them, but something seems to always be interrupting me.

Reading "The Lord of the Rings" series has not only captured my imagination, but my dreams as well! Last night my dreams put a new spin on Frodo's adventures. My name in the dream last night was Miss Frodo (sorry dear husband!) but I was not a hobbit. I was human still. And I was on an adventure that was not protecting a ring, but a sacred rosary! We had to get this rosary back to the Vatican where it belonged. I couldn't put it around my neck because it was too powerful, so I had to be very careful how I carried it so that I would not lose it. Then all these old acquaintances and friends entered the dream (people I haven't thought about or talked to in a long time) and some were on the 'dark' side and some were on the 'good' side (I won't mention names ;). But we traveled through a dark forest where the trees could get up and walk with their roots as legs and we were heading for huge mountains which were the Grand Tetons (even though that is nowhere near Italy) in my dream. It was so strange and so real that it is still very vivid in my memory. I kept wondering where Merry, Pippin and Sam were because I wanted to meet them. And some of my friends had hobbit bodies or elf bodies! Wow, it was very bizarre.

But as I read "The Lord of the Rings" I truly am stunned at how Tolkien created this whole new world. It is incredibly engaging and even addicting to read. Tolkien was so creative, I just wonder, how did he come up with these detailed scenes and story lines!? What a fun read, it will be fun to do it again when the kids get older.

Faustina's new stage

What is Faustina up to these days? The better question is: What isn't Faustina up to these days. She is learning something new every hour. She loves books, she loves imitating Mom and Dad in any task at hand, she is playing with toys in a very purposeful manner by herself and she is playing with other kids, she is saying more and communicating more maturely. She likes to sing in the car and she plays by herself in her crib with no toys except her teddy to tackle and talk to. She is our little girl now! Her personality continues to emerge and we get to know her better each day. She is very entertaining, and she certainly is a smart little one. We like her and are so glad she is our oldest child who I am confident will help shepard her siblings into their childhood and adolescence!

Deo Gratias

This morning Mike, Jude, Grandpa Lee and I were up long before the break of dawn, at about 4:30am! This morning Jude had his surgery which meant we had to leave the house at 5:30am to be at the hospital by 6am.

Everything went very very well. Jude was as good as gold the whole time. I was a bit nervous because he had to go from 1:30am-8:30am without any food. But, thank goodness, he was peaceful the whole morning and even smiling! Jude and I were home around 11am and he has been sleeping for most the morning. We will have an ultrasound in a month to see how his kidneys are functioning. We continue to pray that we do not have to have the more major surgery to remove the upper left part of his kidney; we are hoping that his system corrects itself as he grows and matures.

While Mike and I took care of Jude at the hospital we ran into other parents with their children who were having surgery. One little boy was about 6 years old in his pajamas. He had a brain tumor and was having a long surgery today which was quite serious. Another little girl who was a few months old had an extra finger they were removing. Seeing these sweet kids made me take a step back and thank the Lord for all the good health in our family.

Yesterday the daily gospel reading was from Luke 17:11-19 about how Jesus healed 10 lepers and only 1 of those men came back to thank him. Reflecting on that passage, it truly is wonderful to behold how good God is to us! Really, there is never any reason for me to be crabby or ungrateful because I am so incredibly blessed with family, friends, gifts, talents, financial stability, the list goes on....forever, basically. Even when life is hard, even in losing my Mom - God always provides strength and whatever it is that I need. And for that I need to be constantly thanking God and living life with a cheerful and joyful heart. I thank you God, especially today, for our good health and blessing Jude on this day of his surgery.

Grandma Mary was in the house

We were fortunate to have Michael's Grandma come and stay with us from last Thursday to Tuesday. We had a fantastic time visiting Mary and the Serge clan in Michigan in July and we were lucky to have Grandma come to MN this time.

Mary is 87 years old; she is a terrific Grandma and Greatgrandma, she lives by herself in MI, she keeps on top of her her politics (she especially likes Rush Limbaugh!), she has her excercize classes, she is a great cook and she takes care of her family. For me, still somewhat 'new' to the Adkins family since Mike and I were married 3 years ago, I have especially enjoyed getting to spend time with Mary at her house in July and this past week while she stayed at our place. We were able to stay up later a few nights and hear stories about how life was for Mary growing up, learn about her family, debate current events, and lament over the dire condition Michigan is in!

I was especially grateful that Grandma Mary was able to be here for Jude's baptism over the weekend, not to mention she was a great help in the preparation of food and having company over. Mike and I were talking to each other about how we both missed our mothers on the occasion of Jude's baptism. Both of our mothers really were a pulse for our family dynamics; things are just different now. And we were also talking about how we were sure our mothers would have been good friends and were disappointed that they were never able to know each other. Alas. God is good and we know his plan is perfect. Although we know Mary as Grandma and Greatgrandma, she truly was a wonderful mother figure to us all this past week.

Our new member of the Church!

On Sunday, November 8th, Jude Michael was baptized. It was a wonderful mass at the Cathedral and we had a nice meal afterward. Jude did not make a peep while the priest poured water on his hair; Faustina, however, was taken behind the altar by Mike in the middle of it because she was making a fuss and then she wandered back while we were all still standing around the baptismal fountain! Since Jude was baptized in the middle of mass, there were a couple hundred eyes watching Faustina make her debut. People said it was humorous, and luckily she was not too disruptive. John grabbed her as she was walking around and she was walking around. Jude is fortunate to have John and Mary Lee as his godparents. We were thrilled that Great Grandma Mary was in town (in fact, Mike organized his baptism around her visit) to celebrate with us. We missed Grandpa Lee since he was up north deer hunting; and, of course, no occasion is the same without Grandma Lee. We have confidence that she was rejoicing with us from above.

Gentle Jude

This is the response I get whenever I say "Hi Gentle Jude" to our almost 3 month old dear son.