Thoughts on Halloween

With 2 very young kids, Mike and I are figuring out what we think about Halloween. I, personally, never liked dressing up when I was a kid; thus, Halloween was more of a cultural 'holiday' I had to endure. However, it seems like it gets more and more popular each year. And I can see how it would be fun for our kids to get dressed up and go around the neighborhood to different houses getting candy and seeing others' costumes (some of them anyway, some are pretty frightening!) - it is a fun experience.

I like this article from the First Things blog. It is a short little piece, but it puts Halloween in a perspective of Salvation History. The author suggests that Halloween needs to be celebrated in conjunction with All Saints Day (Nov. 1st) and All Soul's Day (Nov. 2nd). She explain how Halloween has a medieval feel to it and represents how we are born pagan and with sin. All Saints Day is our life journey striving to be saints, and All Soul's Day is a memorial the dead. I appreciate this viewpoint and it makes sense to me.

This year we are simply having dinner with some friends tonight. No costumes or trick or treating. Perhaps next year we'll venture out!

Our Karate Kid

Mike astutely pointed out that Jude is karate chopping us in this photo. Maybe he'll be a black belt!

Well, I would say our guy is no longer my little infant. He is all baby. He was 12.1 lbs at 2 months! He is healthy to say the least and quickly gaining on his older sister who only weighed 20.0 lbs at her 17 month appointment.

On Monday I spent over 4 long hours at Children's Hospital getting tests done on Jude. Let me tell you - it was a long 4 hours. Jude had to have a renogram test done which normally takes 90 minutes. Normally. But it our case, it took 50 minutes for the nurses to find a vein to give Jude his IV and it took them five tries of poking a needle in him before they found one. His poor little ankles are so bruised right now. He was crying so hard while they were looking for vein that he head was pretty much florescent red. The asked me if I wanted them to stop trying, well, then I would have had to come back into the hospital at another date for him to go through the whole ordeal again! I told them to push ahead. During the renogram test they pump radioactive chemicals through his body to examine how the kidneys are functioning. So that ended up being about 2 1/2 hours. After that test, he had a more intense 30 minute ultrasound and they watched him pee to see how his bladder system is working.

We talked to the doctor today and we scheduled his surgery for 7am, November 12. The results of the test showed that one of his ureters is blocked by a piece of skin and that NEEDS to be taken care of. We also learned that he has grade 3 (of 5 grades) reflux in his kidneys. Reflux means that urine is passing through his tubes, but then being kicked back UP to his kidneys instead of exiting his system; this is destructive over time. And we learned that the upper pole of his left kidney is basically not functioning. We had a couple of choices for what we could do, but we went with the least intrusive surgery for right now (which was to get that piece of skin removed at the bottom of his left tube) and we'll keep watch on how his kidneys are doing in the next 2 years. He could grow out of the reflux and it could be a non issue that the upper pole on his left kidney doesn't work (it is not a necessary part for the body, but it could be obstructive).

As long as we make regular appointments with the urologists to see how his kidneys are working in the next few years, it sounds like he should be fine. Thank the Lord for our good doctors and technology that helps us!

Happy Feast day of Saint Jude

Our little guy was named after the Apostle Jude, Patron saint of lost and difficult cases. We ask that you intercede on our behalf today, Saint Jude!

This time - it ALL came off [UPDATED]

Faustina takes a sort of 'quiet time' in the mornings now. She doesn't sleep, but usually plays in her crib. Today she kept saying, 'Mama' over and over. So I went in there and she was smiling and said 'Potty!'.

Oh no. I looked and she had unbuttoned the one button, unzipped and wiggled her way out of her pajamas. And then, of course, taken her diaper off. She peed in her crib - but at least that is all! She has done this several times before, but she has never stripped everything off.

I took her out and she pointed to the bathroom (and actually said 'bathroom'). She sat on her potty and laughed for a few minutes.

Could the potty training be starting? At 17 months? They say girls are potty trained earlier, but this seems really early. We're open to it, but I'm not going to hold my breath!




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Faustina actually DID go pee in her potty twice this morning. No accidents (yet). I am letting her run around naked (as one method of potty training) and I asked her if she had to go potty. She said 'Yep!'. So we went to the bathroom and she DID it and wiped herself. This is quite exciting....we'll see where it goes from here!

Faustina and the boys

I think this guy might like me.


A lot!


Let's dance.


This is kind of awkward. We don't even really know each other.


What happen to dancing?


Do you play for the Vikings or something!?


That's what you get for taking me down.


I'll take you and your teddy home now, Faustina. We're done. I don't like to be locked in a cage.



TWO of you! And you are trying to convince me to stay?


I'm outta here.


Just kidding!


Faustina had a fun time yesterday hanging out with the Ahlberg twins! Faustina and Evan definitely had a thing going.

Unseen grace

Well, yes, of course grace is unseen. But I have found that most often I am looking for a sign in the sky or a voice from heaven for an answer to prayers; really, I am looking for something obvious. I guess God doesn't often work that way.

But I am ever so grateful for the abundant amount of grace the Lord has blessed me and my family with the past 6 months. Between all the life-changing events of Mike starting a new job in July, Jude being born in August, and losing my Mother in September, I am almost surprised to find myself in one piece sometimes. God has been so present and he continues to be now.

As I mentioned, I look for God to make big things happen; but, actually, I know that grace begins with small little little decisions I make. Last week I was feeling very sorry for myself for a few reasons. I knew I was not thinking correctly about several situations, but I couldn't help my thought patterns. I jumped on my bike and went over to Nativity for confession. I didn't want to do this, but I knew it would be a good thing to do. I stumbled through my confession and, when leaving the confessional I was not very impressed with what the priest had to offer me. He told me to go and say St. Francis's 'Prayer for Peace'.

Well, again, God's grace and mercy really was overflowing because that is exactly what I needed to pray.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Yes, I had said and heard this prayer hundreds of times, but it hit me in a new way this time. As I had been drowning in my own sorrows, I was unable to see what needs were around me and how I need to be active in being an instrument of God' grace. Right now it sounds kind of corny to write, but it really is true and it hit me like a brick on the head. My Mom had always showered me with so many gifts all the time; now it is time for me to take her lead and try my best to leave every situation better than I found it and to be Christ to every person I am around.

I left the church and as I got on my bike I saw a man who was probably in his 80's going into the church. But I stopped and stared because he could barely walk. He had parked right outside the church door. Each step he took was probably about 5 inches (really, I'm not exaggerating), actually it was more of a shuffle. I wanted to help him, but wasn't sure what to do because I basically would have stood there while he shuffled his way in the door. Looking back I still should have tried to help him.

As I rode home, I was thinking about how that man was exerting so much effort to go to confession to receive God's grace. I was thinking about how I was thankful for God's 'quiet' way of redirecting my thoughts the last 15 minutes in church and giving me a renewed peace after going to the sacrament of confession. I have to work hard to remember that the Holy Spirit is always at work, I just need to be aware and ready to receive his grace!

She's a natural

As much as Faustina loves the telephone (as it seems most kids do), we usually don't let her play with it. She found it while we were outside the other day, however, and I couldn't take it away; she was hilarious. She was walking up and down the sidewalk talking and talking and talking on it. She had the hand gestures, babbling voice inflections, she was laughing, she was looking at the trees, and very intense. I just didn't have the heart to take her away from her 'conversation'.

Cute pics of the week

Farm life....in the city

This is a picture of a squirrel my Dad caught in their front yard. He is on a daily mission to eliminate squirrels and rabbits that raise havoc in his yard. I am always fairly amused going over there because my Dad is always up to something new and he is a good story teller. He'll say, "Those darn squirrels are so dumb." And than go on to explain how he catches them.

I have always kind of felt like I grew up on a farm in the middle of the city. And I always liked that feeling; I got the best of both worlds. Both my parents are from farms in North Dakota and only moved down to St. Paul in the late 70's. My Dad's house is the actual old 'farm house' on the block. There are pictures of it with cornstalks surrounding the house and ladies in big dresses standing on the porch.

Not only the house, but my parents' habits brought a feeling of country life to our family. They always had a paper route, which meant there were countless times from ages 8-20 that I got at 3:30am to do the paper route in the neighborhood (kind of like milking cows early in the morning!). My parents have a real burning fire place in the house which I love. Many mornings I woke up to coming downstairs to a crackling fire and the wonderful smell. (It is a dream of mine someday to have a real burning fire place - I just absolutely love them.) We always kept the dogs outside in the back yard to run around. Growing up, my brother would take their bb guns to the second floor of the house and shoot coke cans that they had set up in the back yard. We always painted the big story house as a family. Every year in October we changed out the screen window for the storm windows - and there are something like 28 windows to do that for! My Dad has pretty much always had a truck for us to drive; he now has an old Ford (maybe 1980?) he likes. And than we often went back to the farms in North Dakota and hung out there with family. And than the fact that we never ate out as I was growing up, my Mom always had food ready for us and a good meal.

I love that life, and now sometimes I even feel like I could move out to the actual country. That is appealing to me (that is something Mike and I would have to talk about! :). I am thankful for the values that sort of life instilled in me.

3 years down and 72 to go....

that is, if we take after my great aunt Ann and uncle Otto. A few days ago I found a newspaper article at my parents place about how Ann and Otto were celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary! They were both in the mid-nineties and they had been married for 75 years; then they died within 6 months of each other. They told the news reporter that they fell asleep every night holding hands in bed and then they woke up that way! They said they still tried to kiss a lot in public so people knew they loved each other. The reporter asked what their 'secret' to marriage was. Ann said, 'there is no secret if you know how to be good to another person.' Sounds pretty simple!

Happy Anniversary dear Husband - I hope we can be married another 72 years. :) A lot can happen in three years, just look at our cute kids; I can't imagine all that can happen in 75 years of marriage!

Worth a thousand words

They say a smile is worth a thousand words; well, this guy doesn't have any words yet, but he is smiling all the time these days! Since we think he is just the cutest, Mom and Dad are being the ridiculous 'ga-ga go-go' parents to get smiles out of him while Faustina does her 'tickletickletickle' routine on his feet.

On different note, Jude went in for another doctor appointment this morning. He has a 'duplicative collective system' which means that he has TWO ureters (tubes) emptying urine from his kidneys to his bladder. On the left side, one of the ureters is blocked by piece of skin which causes reflux and blockage. To make a long story short, he will have to have surgery to remove this piece of skin. There are several more appointments to figure out exactly how serious it is (whether it is destructive to the upper part of the kidney), but it appears that as long as we are proactive in correcting the problem, Jude will be fine. I must admit, my stomach drops when I think about my little man having surgery. We pray for wise doctors and that any procedures go smoothly.

Words

The words are flowing freely now for our little 17 month old. What a fun stage! She is repeating pretty much any one syllable word we say and some others. Her vocabulary consists of "apple, more, happy, walk, Jude, crying, hold, shoes, socks, food, diaper, mama, dadda, eyes, mouth, nose, book" and more comes each day. For awhile now, it is clear she understands what we are saying to her, but just in the last week she has started saying words herself. I am simply amazed at how little people develop. She has only been out of the womb for 17 months and she seems so old. And then I look at our 2 month old Jude and he is so dependent on us. They change fast. Crazy! Amazing little beings.

She also says, "car, outside, read, water, mine," and her all-time favorite: "NO!"

October is Here

2094 Niles has cornstalks on its pillars, bail of hay with gords on it, and a pumpkin (sitting in a flower pot!): it must be October. Dad is doing his job to represent and keep up the traditions. Mom probably wouldn't put the pumpkin on the flower pot, but that is Dad's special touch. :) Mom would love it! I do too.

Perspectives

Death is a strange, strange thing. I have never lost anyone really really close to me. Since my Mom has passed away, only 4 short weeks ago, I am somewhat dumbfounded by all the feelings of loss, confusion, emptiness, sadness, and change mixed with the reality of prayer, God's grace, mystery, heaven and eternity.

At this point, emotions are in a 'teeter-toter' stage. Intellectually, I know things will be okay in the long run. But, pretty much at any time I can break down in tears thinking about my Mom. I miss her, a lot. At this point, it is just something I think I need to 'muscle through', and hopefully it will get easier.

My perspective on life has certainly changed forever. Life will never be the same for me and I won't look at it the same way. The reality of how short life is and the importance of everything we do is staring me in the face. Mom's death makes me want to be a better person. Her death has opened my eyes to how short life is and more importantly how long eternity is! I like C.S. Lewis' book "The Great Divorce" and his suggestion that the kind of relationship we cultivate with God here on earth reflects how close to him we will be to him for eternity. I want to live life here on earth to please God because I love him, so that I can spend eternity with him and hopefully live eternity with my Mother! It is wierd, in some unexplainable way, my Mother's death has detached me from this world. That may sound bad, but it actually is a grace because my perspective has shifted to trying to see life from an eternal perspective.

Looking back on the 7 months my Mom was sick, it is interesting to put pieces together and see what God was doing. And looking back on this past year, it is crystal clear that God was very in charge and everything happened with his purpose. The very first thing that happened for me was 2 weeks before we found out Mom's cancer was back. It was a Thursday night in January; I was taking a bath and saying the rosary because I was having morning sickness with my pregnancy. The Lord put Mom's health (something I never worried about) on my heart and I just knew I needed to start praying for Mom. So I did, I said the rosary for her that night. And then 2 weeks later we found out her cancer was back. I was devastated. As I think about it now, the Lord was preparing me for the coming events. The second time the Lord was preparing me was during July one day as I was driving home from my parent's place. I was marveling how great my mother was and I thought to myself, "Mom truly is a saintly person and she only inspires me to be a more godly individual. If Mom doesn't make it, somehow it will be okay."

During the whole time, we prayed for healing and we were very optimistic that God would heal Mom. We had to genuinely believe - and we really really DID believe! Up to the last day, I believed in my heart of hearts that God could or would heal Mom. It was the centurion's faith that healed his son. In fact, it was hard for my Mom to be around people who did not believe.

As much as we strive to have 'God's perspective', it is often difficult to discern what he is doing in the present time. I think all we can do is pray a lot, do our best to follow his commandments, and be open to hearing his voice. God's perspective is mysterious to us as humans. It just is, we don't get it; and, I guess, we shouldn't need to have everything figured out. As long as we are faithful and obedient, well, somehow it will be okay.

Guardian Angels

To be honest, I don't know much about the origin or history of this image. I only know that I am attached to it because my parents always had it hanging in the hallway next to my bedroom. Even though the children don't realize it, their Guardian Angel is looking after them and they are safe.

Right when my Mother passed away, I had a fear that I would forget her, her mannerisms, her voice, way of looking at me, things she said, everything. I have found, however, that in the last couple weeks I have been absolutely flooded with memories of Mom. One of those memories was she always said the Guardian Angel prayer with me before going to bed and then my Dad usually stayed with me and told me a story from his own childhood which I loved. I am convinced that the Lord heard all the times I said this prayer as a child and kept me safe through troublesome situations when I was older. It is a simple prayer and I'm starting to say it with Faustina before she goes to bed.

Angel of God, my Guardian Dear
to whom God's love commits me here.
Ever this day be at my side
to light and guard and rule and guide.
Amen.

My little old man

Give this guy a pipe and a leather bound book and he is set to go.

Sisterly Love

People have wondered how Faustina is doing with Jude these days. She is doing great! She is already fulfilling the big sister roles of patting him on the head, kissing him, pointing at him and laughing (!), taking out his nuk and then trying to put it back in until he crys, and she wants to hold him all the time. The last few days she has been trying to pick him up...and he is quickly getting to be almost as big and she is! Trouble.